This is exactly the situation in which my wife and I find ourselves. Children certainly exacerbate it. For a while I think we just didn't talk about it because I was doing most of the child care and she knew how much getting to work on my own projects mattered (even if it was late into the night). Lately, we've found a new balance where our bedtime delta isn't too far apart.

I imagine if we tracked it, we'd see it was further apart than we know. I'm gonna show this to my wife.