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I was coming back from my early morning walk last Saturday morning when I met my neighbour Lulu. She was sitting in front of her house, enjoying the early sunshine, smoking a cigarette.
We exchanged hellos, and as always, she would ask about my little one, how he's doing etc. She is always very complimentary about him, which is flattering...
We usually never have long conversations but this time, she's curious about how my little one is doing at school, what his interests are etc. My answers seem to bring up some old buried memories from her own childhood, so she starts talking about how she was frustrated as a kid because her strict mum never encouraged her to follow her passion for arts, music, ballet etc. The mum, who was constantly arguing with her dad, had other plans for her, and she was forced to obey.
Although the relationship with the mum had improved, now that she was old and had mellowed, (she had even apologised to her) the scars still remained. I was noticing how Lulu was getting emotional as she was opening up, so I remained quiet, giving her space, just listening, nodding at times, hiding my embarrassment and secretly hoping for an opportunity to leave and carry on with my walk. But that's when she started tearing up. I thought of giving her a hug but I was sweaty, and had not had my shower yet, so I just sat next to her and gently held her hand in mine.
Lulu is in her sixties, she has no husband and no kids, which she seems to regret. She gives me the impression of someone who's squandered her precious life, her youth and beauty, and although aware of it, she cannot muster enough will to change her fate. The paralysing curse of the mother is just too strong...
In that moment, one of her "friends" joins us, a glass of rum in the hand, it's for her. He's surprised to see her in that state, and asks why/if she's crying. She's embarrassed, wipes the tears off her face, forces a smile, and brushes it off with a joke. It's like her mask had inadvertently slipped for a second, and she's now putting it back on... That's when I left.
Today evening I met Lulu again, as we were coming back from school. She thanked me for listening and holding her hand the other day, but I notice that she is drunk, and the more she speaks, the less I understand what she's saying, she's completely incoherent and talks like a waterfall...
That's too much for me now, I am overwhelmed, and I just want to go home...
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Akg10s3 1h
Thanks for posting! I really liked it.. 👌
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"Be the wind in their sail, not the spit in their face."-possibly a Spanish saying
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Wow that was quite an interaction. It was good that gave her your attention, but I definitely understand it being awkward. A friend of mine was just telling me a similar tragic story about neighbors of hers, single women in their 60s. Nothing fun or warm in that story. I hope you're feeling better about it soon, maybe you will find something you can do for her that won't cross any of your boundaries. My suggestion would be prayer.
the paralysing curse of the mother
is this a Jungian archetype? Sounds like it could be
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