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Something interesting about addiction, in any sense, is that most people are addicts because they believe they 'are' something, or that they 'need' something. For example, a person who is a smoker will likely not quit smoking until they truly believe they are no longer a smoker. The problem is, when smokers try to quit, they meet the challenge and likely fail if they believe that they are still a smoker trying to quit. It is only when the smoker believes they are a non-smoker that they can summon the willpower and discipline to make a change in their lives. Of course, I mention this with the disclaimer that some people have deeper-rooted addictions and need medical support.
My belief is that the same is true for addictive online content. I do not want to minimize your efforts, but the fact that you use an app to control your time is like a smoker using nicotine gum to control their cigarette addiction: they have not truly committed to the idea that they are no longer a smoker. They are using a bandage to slowly taper off of the action of smoking, but have not yet truly committed to the idea that they are no longer a smoker.
I believe that you need to draw your motivation from the mundane and tactile things in life. Allow yourself to be bored and sit through the uncomfortable moments of not knowing what to do and not having anything to do. I would encourage you to think of actions like conversations: when you are in a conversation, face to face with another person, if there is a moment of silence, do you immediately fill it with more mouth noise? Or, do you allow the conversation to have its natural pauses? Looking at digital devices is like having a conversation with yourself. You ought to allow yourself to pause the use, otherwise, all you start to do is talk all day, and that is both exhausting and annoying.
Allow yourself to explore the tactile things in life. Breathe the air. Feel your feet on the ground. Watch the small glimmers of light that the sun casts on objects during sunrise and sunset. There is no magic cure. The solution is not more digital tools. The solution is to let go and remember that we are human and the only thing unnatural are the screens we find ourselves revisiting in hope of a deeper meaning... except, you will never find that deeper meaning.
Good luck.
Yeah, that resonates with what is said in a lot of those motivational books about creating habits, etc.
Good reminder~~
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