What Kids Told Us About How to Get Them Off Their Phones \ stacker news ~alter

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What Kids Told Us About How to Get Them Off Their Phones www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2025/08/kids-smartphones-play-freedom/683742/

279 sats \ 14 comments \ @Scoresby 6 Aug alter_native

we asked parents what they thought would happen if two 10-year-olds played in a local park without adults around. Sixty percent thought the children would likely get injured. Half thought they would likely get abducted.

This matches up with my own experience as a parent. Way too easy to believe harm will come to your children when you aren't watching, despite a lot of evidence to the contrary.

Still, parents spend more time supervising their kids than parents did in the 1960s, even though they now work more and have fewer children. Across all income levels, families have come to believe that organized activities are the key to kids’ safety and success. So sandlot games gave way to travel baseball. Cartwheels at the park gave way to competitive cheer teams. Kids have been strapped into the back seat of their lives—dropped off, picked up, and overhelped. As their independence has dwindled, their anxiety and depression have spiked. And they aren’t the only ones suffering. In 2023, the surgeon general cited intensive caregiving as one reason today’s parents are more stressed than ever.

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102 sats \ 6 replies \ @SimpleStacker 6 Aug

Rings true from my experience.

But it feels like a rat race / prisoner's dilemma. The thought that goes through the helicopter parent's head is: "If I don't put my kid in all these structured activities, they are going to lose out academically to the other kids."

And I experienced it myself. I told my wife I didn't want to put my kids in Kumon / Math Circle at an early age. They are now not as good at math as some of their peers who did those things.

And in an economy where the prospects of a good job seem increasingly dim and reserved for only a lucky few at the top, it's no wonder parents feel the way they do.

102 sats \ 1 reply \ @south_korea_ln 6 Aug

I told my wife I didn't want to put my kids in Kumon

Ha, we had a Kumon teacher coming once a week last year, and my son was supposed to do the homework daily for math, English, and Hangeul. We quickly stopped. They use really archaic methods. Even though he had already mastered counting, they still wanted him to write hundreds of sheets of the same numbers every week. He started seeing Kumon as a chore. He's only 5 now.

We then found Wink School. Also based on self-learning, but much more entertaining, and using a more modern mindset. Still he learns a lot and asks himself when we forget to give him his daily 15 minutes of classes...

Yet, I'd rather he didn't have to do either and could just focus on school stuff at school, maybe some homework, and get to play with friends or by himself, when outside of school.

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Scoresby OP 6 Aug

since we're homeschooling, there's not as clear a division between school and the rest of life. Perhaps this is a little risky, in that we are not always as focused as we should be, but all in all, I believe I'm seeing benefits to blurring school and life. It feels like most of what I'm doing in teaching them these days is viewpoint shaping.

30 sats \ 3 replies \ @Scoresby OP 6 Aug

Do you feel that there are two separate things here?

parents who want their kids to be extra super high achievers
parents who are unreasonably freaked out that their kids are going to be kidnapped

These can coexist in the same parent, but perhaps also can appear separately.

102 sats \ 2 replies \ @SimpleStacker 6 Aug

Yes, I think these two things are separate. In my experience, the first type is way more common than the second type.

I'm actually surprised by the high percentages of parents who think their kid would get injured or abducted at a park. That doesn't cohere with my personal experience and my understanding of my friends either.

30 sats \ 1 reply \ @Scoresby OP 6 Aug

i don't see many kids walking around my neighborhood by themselves...

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @SimpleStacker 6 Aug

I sometimes see kids out walking the dog on their own, or to the local Trader Joes. Maybe not the super young ones, but middle schoolers and up.

123 sats \ 3 replies \ @gnilma 6 Aug

I guess my wife and I are too chill haha.

My kids started walking to school by themselves when my daughter was 9, son 8. They started going to the park and hang out with friends / walking to friends' home to hang out when my daughter was 10, son 9. They also started taking the bus to the mall with their friends when my daughter was 12, son 11. My son got into biking and had been biking all over the neighborhood with his buddy. On a few occasions, they even biked to the mall. He was 11 at the time.

They are 14 and 13 now. Both my daughter and son have yet to be abducted or sustained any injuries. IMO, kids are much more independent and capable than many parents think. Also IMO, this world is safer than many parents think.

50 sats \ 1 reply \ @Scoresby OP 6 Aug

preach, brother! This sounds like a pretty good childhood (perhaps because it mirrors my own to some extent). I realize I need to encourage my children to get out a bit and have some of their own adventures.

102 sats \ 0 replies \ @gnilma 6 Aug

I think having friend(s) to go with is very important. I think my kids got lucky. They knew this kid in school whose parents are busy working and spends most of his after school time with grand parents and siblings. In other words, he's pretty much free to do whatever he wants. He's the kid that invited and introduced my kids to taking the bus to the mall and spend after school hours just chilling at the mall. He's also my son's biking buddy and showed him around the neighborhood plus much more on their bikes.

Yea, I think it's great to encourage your kids to go out for their own adventures. They will probably enjoy it a lot and have a great time.