BIG DISCLAIMER: Before you go into the article, I want to give full credit to Nathela. She wrote this inspiring article and I thought it would be a good idea to translate it and bring it to the stackers community, I hope you enjoy it.
In my journey over the past few years, I've noticed something that repeats itself a lot (in myself and in others): we strive to accomplish, to do, to "be okay," and of course, from the outside, everything seems in order. But inside... there are parts that feel hidden, stagnant, as if you were standing in front of a door you don't dare open.
And it's not because you don't know what's behind it. On the contrary, I think you know exactly what's there. Probably dreams you don't dare to name yet. Doubts that can't be seen from the outside, but that weigh on you inside... And all of that is scary. Because facing it head-on also means starting to do something about it.
So, if you've ever felt guilty for not "tapping into your potential," maybe this will help you look at yourself with more compassion (and more truth). That's why today I want to share with you five silent ways we can sabotage ourselves without even realizing it, and, above all, what we can do to start breaking free from them.
- You pretend you want less… when in reality you just want to be able to choose without fear
Maybe you don't dream of "being a creator" as an Instagram hashtag. Maybe you just want to be able to share what you love, show what you see, create something that represents you… without having to choose just one thing and marry it to it forever. But in a world that demands clear definitions and concrete titles, feeling multifaceted can work against you. Because if you don't fit into one box, then what are you?
That was my block for years. I liked so many things, and none of them felt like "the right one." Designing, writing, making art, communicating. And feeling like I couldn't choose a clear identity, I started keeping them all quiet. I told myself it wasn't that important, that I could let them go. But deep down, it was. I did want to express myself, I did want to share, I just didn't know how to do it without feeling out of place or like I was improvising something that didn't fully belong to me.
Over time, I realized that I don't need to dedicate myself exclusively to something for what I love to be valid. And neither do you. You don't need something to be your work or to have a professional label to showcase it. You can create from complexity, from your blend, from that which doesn't always have a single form, but which is deeply yours. That counts too. That also deserves space.
And if you're waiting for a sign, let it be this: you don't need to have everything figured out to get started, but you do need to stop pretending you don't want to. Because you do want to. And it's okay to want to. Sometimes, the only thing that separates "I'd love to" from "this is part of my life" is taking a step (even a small one) toward it. Naming it. Admitting it. Showing it a little. Your potential isn't waiting for you to become someone else; it's waiting for you to finally recognize who you already are.
- You mock your ideas… to protect yourself from rejection I think this is something that's happened to me more times than I'd like. Sometimes an idea comes to you and the first thing you do is crack a joke, an excuse, a "it's all nonsense anyway." And you do it quickly, almost without thinking. As if getting ahead of the criticism would save you, as if making it small before anyone sees it would make it hurt less.
But that way of protecting yourself is also a way of denying yourself. It's as if you're apologizing for being enthusiastic. As if enjoying what you come up with were a daring act you had to justify... and when you repeat that over and over again, you disconnect from the most alive and creative part of yourself.
I've done it a thousand times. I felt ridiculous for getting excited about ideas that might not go anywhere, so I kept them to myself or disguised them as a joke. Until I realized the problem wasn't the idea itself. It was my need to defend it against a gaze that hadn't even arrived yet.
Since then, I've allowed myself to enjoy them. Even if they don't turn out perfect or even if no one sees them. Because if an idea resonates with you, it already has value and you deserve to treat it with respect, not mockery.
- You're busy... but not with what really matters to you
There's a very subtle trap that masquerades as productivity: being constantly busy, always on the go, with an endless to-do list... but never touching what really matters to you. You're constantly rushing from one task to the next, feeling like you're making progress, but if you're honest with yourself, you know you're avoiding something.
And that something is important. It's that idea you left in draft form months ago. That conversation you know you need to have, but keep putting off. That project you say you want to do "when you have time," but deep down you're afraid to start, because doing so would mean facing the possibility that it might not turn out the way you hoped.
And yes, it's normal. It's much easier to work for other people's dreams than for your own. The hard part is sitting down and facing what matters to you, staring it straight in the face, and stopping making excuses. Because there's no guarantee it'll work, but you also know that continuing to avoid it comes at a cost: always feeling busy, but never satisfied.
A practice that helped me a lot and that I invite you to try is this: make two lists again. On one, write down what you're spending your time on today. On the other, what you'd really like to spend it on. And then compare them. Are they similar? Do they have anything in common? If not, it's time to move things around, let go of others, and make room.
Because continuing to pile up to-dos that don't represent you is also a way of hiding. And you didn't come here to hide.
- You are uncomfortable seeing other people doing what you dream of Sometimes it's not easy to recognize, but it happens. For example, you see someone doing exactly what you'd like to be doing, and you skip it. You tell yourself you're not interested, that "it's not that good," that you've seen it a thousand times. But in reality, it hurts. Because it touches a sensitive part. Because it reminds you that you could be there, but you aren't.
Comparison doesn't always come from judgment; sometimes it comes from frustration, from pent-up desire. From that "that could have been me" that sticks in your chest as you continue scrolling like nothing's happening.
I felt it, many times. And I realized that this discomfort isn't something to be silenced or covered up, but rather something to be looked at more honestly. Because often what we "envy" in others is what we haven't yet dared to do for ourselves. And the truth is, I'd say that feeling isn't an enemy; it's a mirror, and sometimes it's also a compass.
Because it's not about copying what someone else does; it's about doing your own thing. Using that energy to move, to take action, to get started, even if it's just a little bit.
And if you need a clearer reference, do something your year-ago self would look back on with a smile, or even a little envy. Because that, yes, is the kind of comparison that's worth it, the kind that propels you forward rather than holding you back.
- You're waiting for someone to give you permission It may not be said out loud, but it's often expected. A sign. A validation. Some kind of external approval confirming that what you want makes sense, that it's okay to pursue it.
But no one can give permission if one is hidden, no one can accompany a process that hasn't even been named. When something isn't acknowledged or declared, it's impossible for the world to see it.
That wait can last for years. Hoping someone will say, "Go ahead, your work is worth it." But if the initial recognition doesn't come from within, any external validation becomes insufficient. I knew this when I realized that what I was waiting for wasn't a sign, but the courage to take charge of what I wanted.
And you don't have to have everything clear to start. You can say "this matters to me" without yet knowing where it's going. You can name your desire even if it doesn't have a defined form. The important thing is to make it visible, at least to yourself.
Because nothing can happen without prior openness, and believe me, sometimes the most important permission isn't asked for, it's decided.