I enjoyed it. Feels a little like the opening to Electric Sheep, so you've got a lot going for it.

If anything, Jack is too "enlightened." I think if the story is going to begin at this advanced stage (where society has crumbled so far) I want to see Jack's struggle to became aware of how bad it is, not necessarily his struggle to resist it. You know where you want to take it, but I have a hard time believing someone like Jack -- who can navigate the underground and has silver and gold stashes -- letting himself get into this position. And if he gets in this position, what I'm most curious about is how he got here without trying to use his bitcoin -- that is really intriguing.

I hope I don't offend you by being forward with my thoughts here, but I got the sense that you'd like some feedback.

I'm curious to see where you take it.