Joke : Bitcoin’s New 9-to-5
I finally figured out why Bitcoin’s price keeps chopping around in 2025… it accepted Goldman Sachs’ offer for a “paid internship.”
Every morning it clocks in at $58 k, makes coffee for the dollar index, accidentally deletes the payroll spreadsheet, and by 3 p.m. the boss yells “risk-off!” so BTC interns its own market cap back down to $55 k.
Hey, at least it’s getting “institutional experience” before it graduates to a real store-of-value.
Every morning it clocks in at $58 k, makes coffee for the dollar index, accidentally deletes the payroll spreadsheet, and by 3 p.m. the boss yells “risk-off!” so BTC interns its own market cap back down to $55 k.
Hey, at least it’s getting “institutional experience” before it graduates to a real store-of-value.
Joke insight.
We are used to blaming whales, ETFs or Mt-Gox wallets, but this joke reframes volatility as Bitcoin “learning” the rules of traditional finance instead of breaking them. If BTC is just doing entry-level chores for Wall Street, the next bull run won’t begin until the internship ends that is, when the Fed finally signs the full-time offer sheet (a.k.a. rate cuts).
Tip
While you’re laughing, set a tiny recurring buy for the days BTC “interns” itself lower; you’ll accumulate at intern wages and sell when Wall Street hands over the corner-office salary.
While you’re laughing, set a tiny recurring buy for the days BTC “interns” itself lower; you’ll accumulate at intern wages and sell when Wall Street hands over the corner-office salary.
Question for You
If Bitcoin really is stuck in a corporate internship, what on-chain metric will tell us it’s been promoted and the real bull-market paycheck is about to hit?
If Bitcoin really is stuck in a corporate internship, what on-chain metric will tell us it’s been promoted and the real bull-market paycheck is about to hit?
P.S. Tip your therapist in sats. They don’t take fiat