You can verify a soft delete if you are only sharing pointers to your data on the relay. Then you would only need to verify that you yourself deleted the data.

But again, that’s not how Nostr is designed. And that’s one of the issues I have with it.

But I still think there would be ways of a relay verifying a delete for you. At least you could try to access the note and it would be gone. That would be the naive way