I would want to hear him articulate his overall feelings toward the near future. I would pay attention to things like: is he blaming himself? is he blaming someone else? is he hopeless, is he believing a delusion?
that would help me understand and know how to care or not care
There’s like an entire list of things to look out for! This is when a lady’s perspective is important. I will keep this in mind in my future interactions with him
Something similar happened to me recently. We didn't meet up, but I could sense his frustration through his WhatsApp statuses. This is due to the fascination that most people have with posting everything that happens in their lives. He posted something that went something like this: “She's somewhere else with someone else while I'm quietly in Spain.”
So I said to him, “Your post reflects exactly the opposite of what you say. If you didn't care, you wouldn't say that you don't care, you'd just get on with your life.” And then I said, “The best thing is what happens, whatever happens, because it happens for a reason.”
And I recommended that he get on with his life, focus on his personal goals, and that sooner or later he would find someone to connect with and be able to rebuild his love life.
True. People who say they don’t care actually care too much… and further to your point: sharing online is frequently over-sharing. What are your online friends actually going to do except join you in a pity party… misery loves company.
Assuming the relationship isn’t with you? Because that’s kind of awkward. Like… ‘can I have the lava lamp back..’ would probably suffice.
If it’s a friend who has broken up with some else;
‘Hey, I heard about you and x breaking up. How are you doing?’
Gentle, not apportioning blame and definitely not telling them what a loser their ex is and they are better to have that soulless emotion vampire out of their life. Kinda like a funeral I guess.
Not with me! One onibaba (demon) in my life is enough haha.
Today, I invited him for a quick meal outside. Just ate something light and drank coffee. Didn’t broach the topic either. I figured that just being around was good enough.
I would want to hear him articulate his overall feelings toward the near future. I would pay attention to things like:
is he blaming himself? is he blaming someone else? is he hopeless, is he believing a delusion?
that would help me understand and know how to care or not care
There’s like an entire list of things to look out for! This is when a lady’s perspective is important. I will keep this in mind in my future interactions with him
Something similar happened to me recently. We didn't meet up, but I could sense his frustration through his WhatsApp statuses. This is due to the fascination that most people have with posting everything that happens in their lives. He posted something that went something like this: “She's somewhere else with someone else while I'm quietly in Spain.”
So I said to him, “Your post reflects exactly the opposite of what you say. If you didn't care, you wouldn't say that you don't care, you'd just get on with your life.” And then I said, “The best thing is what happens, whatever happens, because it happens for a reason.”
And I recommended that he get on with his life, focus on his personal goals, and that sooner or later he would find someone to connect with and be able to rebuild his love life.
I guess different people use different means to grieve over a loss!
True. People who say they don’t care actually care too much… and further to your point: sharing online is frequently over-sharing. What are your online friends actually going to do except join you in a pity party… misery loves company.
Assuming the relationship isn’t with you? Because that’s kind of awkward. Like… ‘can I have the lava lamp back..’ would probably suffice.
If it’s a friend who has broken up with some else;
‘Hey, I heard about you and x breaking up. How are you doing?’
Gentle, not apportioning blame and definitely not telling them what a loser their ex is and they are better to have that soulless emotion vampire out of their life. Kinda like a funeral I guess.
Not with me!
One onibaba (demon) in my life is enough haha.
Today, I invited him for a quick meal outside. Just ate something light and drank coffee. Didn’t broach the topic either. I figured that just being around was good enough.
soulless emotion vampire is gold!
Absolutely… good enough just being there.
‘Hollow soul stealer’ or ‘cold-hearted empathy thief’ would also suffice. I have known a few :D
Your mind works in haikus haha
Like the code in the Matrix… seeing in haiku would be cool.