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You take out a loan with your bank and then you buy sats. You put these in FTX because Udi said so. FTX then gives your sats to Alameda. Alameda then does a 120x leveraged short on BTC with that, and... quadruples your stack. From that, and your initial deposit, they buy a golden dildo, but it only covers half the cost. The other half is on credit from Tether. The dildo then explodes while in use and everyone is dead; all these promised gainz are gone and so are your sats.

Reg E covers none of that, but it's a nice thought that at least Tether won't sue you for the other half of a golden dildo.