A reflection from an African lens

In many African societies, this question isn’t just personal — it’s cultural. A man is expected to provide. To lead. To carry the financial weight of the household. So when the idea of a woman having more money comes up, it can feel uncomfortable, even threatening.

But I think it’s worth slowing down and asking: where did this pressure come from, and does it still serve us today?

Traditionally, provision was tied to survival. Land, cattle, harvests — these were tangible responsibilities. But even then, African families were never built by one person alone. Women farmed, traded, raised children, managed homes, and held communities together. Wealth was communal, not individual. The idea that a man’s value is measured only by how much money he brings home is actually a very narrow reading of our own history.

Today, money flow differently. Education, opportunity, migration, and sheer luck mean that sometimes a woman will earns more. Sometimes a man will. Sometimes both will struggle. Life it is not linear, and marriage was never meant to be socially a rigid hierarchy.

If a woman have more money than you, that don’t make you less of a man. Manhood in African culture was never just about money — it was about responsibility, integrity, protection, wisdom, and service to family and community. Those things doesn’t disappear because a partner is financially successful.

What does causes problems is insecurity — especially when it’s reinforced by relatives, neighbours, or unspoken expectations. We’ve all heard it:

• People will laugh at you.
• You’re being kept.
• She will disrespect you.

But respect it don’t come from income. It comes from character. A woman who respects you will respect you whether she earns more or less. And a man who knows himself won’t feel threatened by his partner’s progress.

Marriage, from an African perspective, have always been bigger than two individuals. It’s about continuity, stability, and raising grounded children. What lesson are we teaching if children grows up seeing fear instead of cooperation? If they learns that success must be hidden to protect someone’s ego?

In a real partnership, success it is shared. If she rise, the family rises. If you falls, the family steadies me. There will be seasons — drought and harvest, lean years and abundance. Marriage it is meant to survive all of them.

So yes, it don't matter to marry a woman who has more money than you. Not because money don’t matter, but because it isn’t the foundation. Respect, shared values, humility, and purpose and most importantly love, are.

And maybe the more important question isn’t who earns more, but whether we are brave enough to let go of outdated expectations — and strong enough to build marriages rooted in partnership, not pride.