Do phones/Internet bring us together or tear us apart?
What fucking disgusting shit it is to sit at the same table with your family or friends to eat and have everyone with their damn face glued exclusively to their phone, and on top of that having to put up with each person's different sounds and audios, because they don’t even have the minimal decency to use fucking headphones.
I find it incredibly stupid that they can't put their phones away or step away from them for at least 15 minutes. It's the same at home every day. We sit down to eat and everyone stares blankly, like zombies, their eyes glued to their phones. At mealtimes, nobody talks; all you hear is my sister's phone clicking away, watching two seconds (literally) of each video while endlessly scrolling through TikTok. My mom is the same, unless she stops to listen to the most dramatic video out there, a sensationalist news story, or something fake. My husband might be looking at important information (which he could pause and watch after eating) or just watching tasteless, boomer style prank videos that only he finds funny.
It’s not just happening in my family, I see it everywhere. What the fuck do they even gather to eat together for? It’s a fucking joke.
Do yourselves a favor: when you get together to eat with someone, put away the stupid phone or simply don’t show up.
For me it's more than obvious that using your phone while eating reduces the enjoyment of the food, but for other people it's not so clear, so I took the trouble to gather some articles that talk about this topic:
The mere presence or use of a phone at the table causes greater distraction, less enjoyment of social interaction, and reduced emotional engagement. An experimental study found that it reduces the pleasure of eating by approximately half a point on a scale of 7, equivalent to a noticeable but subtle decrease in the enjoyment of spending time with family or friends.
Source:
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0022103117301737
In families, parental or child use of phones during meals is associated with worse communication, greater parental stress, less positive modeling of eating, and, in some cases, a greater risk of disordered eating behaviors (such as binge eating motivated by emotional regulation via phone).
Source:
https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/eat.70063?prg140729=4173abd5-c1b4-4187-94c8-6d74b7007216
One in three people scroll on their phones at the dinner table, reducing enjoyment and family connection.
Source:
https://www.feedingamerica.org/hunger-blog/benefits-device-free-family-meal
A 2023 study revealed that 68% of US households have someone using their phone during meals with others. However, 65% personally dislike it, and 42% consider it downright rude. In households with children, adults use their phones more than children (64% of adult men and 52% of women vs. 39% of children aged 13-17).
Sharing meals without screens increases positive affect, life satisfaction, and reduces depressive symptoms; but smartphone use diminishes these benefits.
I was raised before there were phones, so the rules I had to abide by and then subsequently stuck with were:
I appreciate being raised like that and I appreciate living like that. I do break the rule when I'm eating alone though. I should probably change that.
That's exactly how it should be. It's fine to have your phone nearby in case someone calls for an emergency or something similar, but keeping your hands free of the phone should be a rule at mealtimes. I also don't see anything wrong with breaking the rules once in a while, for example, having breakfast while watching cartoons on a Sunday morning. It's fun once in a while, but being distracted by a screen all the time at mealtimes is unpleasant and a bad habit.
Our rule is no phones at the table. As in not in sight, not in pockets, not near you, not answerable or checkable. We've managed to keep this rule so far...
That's great. I've talked to my husband about that many times, but he says I'm exaggerating.
It is essential. We're talking about putting our phones away from 6-9 pm or something. It's crazy how phones pervade our lives.
Yes, in an exaggerated way. My husband uses the excuse that he's always on his phone for work, which is false because he's not working 24/7; sometimes he's watching stupid videos, stupid posts, playing games, or reading comics.
Look for any excuse to keep using a screen.
I like to read and I generally like to have a book on my person just in case I have to wait some where I can just bust out the book. If someone or a group I'm with is guilty of pulling their phones out and zoning out on their screens I will just bust the book out and read right there. If i get weird looks but I have to challenge them and ask why is it socially ok for you to be on screen but I can't bust out my book?
And I bet they're so distracted they don't even notice you're reading a book. It's unbearable.
some positive aspects of cell-phone use at dinner are:
proposed solution: make a faraday cage (aluminum can for paint will do) and require that everyone puts the mobile devices in there, in the other room, or in airplane mode for the duration of the meal...
just like leaving dirty shoes in the foyer is customary, leaving spyware-addictware at the entrance to ur temple shud be considered;
people can be influenced, behavior can be modified, u just need to come up with a good story!
also think about eating outside in the sunlight, with candles burning, or under incandescent non-toxic lights; modern cheap lightbulbs help cause diabetes & other crap;
Since I can't influence or control the decisions of other adults, I've chosen not to eat at the same table. I've already tried; I've spoken up, given my point of view, but I've been ignored.
find a more aware table, or eat outside in silence under the sunrays; even better if u can find chirping birds; )))
opt out of the matrix;
Yes, that's definitely what I'm going to do.
Amazing I appreciate your sentiment on this because it is intolerable and we should give a fuck when it’s our own table
Haven’t encountered such an issue in my family yet but I plan to be vigilant about it - it’s a big deal that we gather around over a table of food!
I simply find it distasteful to meet with people supposedly to share, but in reality the entire meeting is based on everyone being distracted by their phones, "sharing" one or two photos, and then proceeding to continue ignoring each other.
Don't give in, don't allow it.
I'm guilty of it myself, at times. Gotta catch myself when I do it. Thankfully, my wife and kids aren't afraid to call out my own hypocrisy.
Hahaha, my daughter is an expert at highlighting the hypocrisy of adults. Today I went on strike and got up from the table and went to eat alone somewhere else; I'm fed up with them playing their phones at full volume at the table.
No phones at the dinner table, that rule applies in my house and my siblings houses too. Simple and effective!
Great... Not everyone understands that
I would take it one step further: If that type of phone usage was accepted or even the norm, I wouldn't attend.
I'll rather find a quiet spot to eat on my own than having to waste time with people who are semi-present at best. Family or not.
Use of phone could be benefical and bad at same time.
Oh boy, I relate to this one.
Not sure if I have any advice, but I 100% agree.
And playing the audio as well...I would flip out. I can understand why you moved elsewhere.
I think it may help to understand that it's an addiction, a literal addiction. It's one that's easy to break IF society were to support it. But right now, society is fully behind the addiction.
Maybe it has something to do with parasites?
#1266468
Totally feel this. It’s wild how something meant to connect us—phones and the Internet—can make shared meals feel completely disconnected. A few years ago I started a no-phone rule at dinner at home, and honestly, it’s made conversations way more interesting and even the food tastes better. People don’t realize how much attention at the table actually matters.