I am person 2.5
As a ex-manager, entrepreneur with mild success, and a software engineer focusing on UI and UX, I feel it's really important to remove friction that users may have, as long as you are comfortable with knowing you are doing the right thing. You do, you don't sell our data, code is open source, etc. I own a node, but the friction was incredibly strong when I just started out.
If I learned something from teaching hundreds of students a difficult skill, it is that you need guide people properly.
People who understand this, try to wear their shoes (and that's how a business can succeed), and slowly try to teach them how they can "upgrade" their shoes so to speak. Instead of simply complaining about being "stupid" or "naive" etc. If you treat your clients like this do you think you will keep them?
BTW I love the SN wallet, I often use it to pay freelancers on the run (just used it to pay 100k sats to someone) and having a channel with SN makes it easy.
Everything is relative, so for someone 10,000 sats is what they consider small. For me, luckily small is bigger, and SN is perfect for that.
I don't think people will use SN for paying/spending because I suspect the biggest use case is through native mobile apps, which seems out of scope? Custodial or not makes little difference. For example, Bitcoin Jungle app is custodial but is used a lot.
I've been to a few meetups and also developed worked freelance work for one of the biggest bitcoin-only news website, and even the founders are not tech-savvy enough.