(PSLE 2015) Do you have enough time to relax on weekends? Why, or why
not?
No, I don’t have enough time to relax on weekends because I have to take care of my young children. For better or for worse, I cannot outsource my parenting responsibilities to other adults. Nor do I have the financial means to hire a helper.
I actually indulge in some relaxation time on Thursdays. Mercifully, I live near my workplace, so I have my house to myself for a couple of hours in the afternoon. Yup, I really cherish those sacred hours and guard them ferociously with all my will. I usually laze on the couch to catch up on my Netflix shows. I never resist the temptation to have a rejuvenating siesta.
Take this Thursday for instance. I finished my oral duties and rushed home. Although I could only watch “Monday Late Show” for thirty minutes before I had to rush out for a learning journey, I thoroughly enjoyed those delightful moments of silence. I didn’t have to engage with anyone. I could have the space to do whatever I wanted. That, to me, is the epitome of relaxation.
I suggest that people take time out to relax. After all, we are not robots and cannot be expected to go full throttle all the time. Actually, even robots malfunction at times. Taking proper breaks and relaxing well will help us persevere better in the long run.
Big fat no. But my schedule sucks right now because I mostly just follow a pattern of:
It's no bueno because technically I'm suffering micro burnouts at random moments. Also the only way for me to recognize it is weekend is the amount of traffic on the streets. Which is probably telling on its own.
do you feel guilty if you don’t push yourself so hard? or are you engrossed enough in your projects such that you don’t really notice the burnout till it hits too close to your limits?
Between security must-do-work and bread-on-the-table must-do-work, I can often fill 15-18h a day. The main issue is I don't want to deliver inferior work and I definitely don't want to mess up my private security. Right now, it's tough times. I hope that one day I'll be able to build back the margins I have been used to for most of my life and can relax a bit more.
I sometimes force myself to back away from laptop for an hour or worst case just browse SN for a bit, so that I can look at what I am doing fresh again when I get back to it, or like right now, when I have a little break while I have code assessments running and I get a 20 minute break to have a smoke, get a fresh espresso, check notifications & phone.
it sounds like you are used to the adrenaline from doing such high-intensity work that it would seem criminal for you to take longer breaks. it’s curious to me that you have the headspace to browse through SN - no matter what. on particularly hectic days, I have to mentally steel myself to do the necessary so as to keep my cowboy hat haha. definitely no bandwidth for typing messages
I bookmark, otherwise postpone or often even skip things that I have to think deeply about. I guess I'm a shallow stacker haha
My wife seems to prefer to run her life between burned up candles and is convinced that she cannot operate any other way, and as a very proximate observer it often does not look as effective as she thinks.
There have been times in my life where operating between burnouts has felt most effective.
There are other times when a more balanced lifestyle leads to better outcomes. Especially when considering thought work, or creative endeavors.
I'm not convinced any of us can meaningfully change the way we operate, though.
I've ran both structured and unstructured - depends on the job I'm running.
I have had years of waking up before everyone else, use my best time of the day to do strategically important work, then do 10-12h of meetings, process emails in breaks, then go to bed. And in the weekends do only the first item and have the rest off because no meetings. This works efficiently if you have wide responsibility and you get to recharge on the weekends.
Currently though, I have zero meetings. All my comms with clients/colleagues/3rd parties are at most chat, often async though, like email or GitHub issues/PRs. Worse, where I formerly had teams of hydrocarbon, I now have silicon, which never sleeps, so I have to intrinsically manage it from my own cycle, rather than what I am used to: adapt to other people's cycles. So I think it is mostly a discipline issue.
"Life is constant change."
Reading your post, I automatically think of that.
I remember feeling the same way a few years ago. Between work, home, and studying (I was starting out with Bitcoin and other things), I barely had any free time for myself. My only escape was going skateboarding for an hour or two. (I helped my wife with her business, making some deliveries nearby while traveling on my skateboard.)
smart move to kill two birds with one stone - exercise and making the missy happy!
We mustn’t relax at the weekend; we have to work and keep moving forward.
To relax, we need to set aside certain periods when we switch off from everything. And then we get back to work to keep moving forward.
it’s a radical thought - resting during weekdays. but recently I have adopted this model as well. slack while I can during weekdays and work to compensate during weekends (when I have some stolen time from not looking after my kids haha)
I see; it can be a bit difficult at times to find time to rest or do other things.
Not recently, but sometimes I do.
My daughter's gotten to where she can entertain herself for a decent stretch. However, that's only relaxing if said entertainment doesn't involve immense noise.
but I guess there will come a point when we miss those immense noises that are emitting from our children haha
I’m sure that’s true. Most of the time, it’s only bad because I’m trying to listen to or focus on something else.
When I remind myself to stop fighting the current, it’s not so bad.
Well, it's been a while since I've taken a trip or gone away to disconnect... what I do have is relaxing time at home, mostly in the evenings, after the children are asleep.
During the week, my wife tries to do the cleaning and other housework to try to make the weekends less hectic, but something almost always comes up. On weekends, we try to dedicate more time to the children, watch something together on TV, go to the park to ride bikes, or go to some woods near the city, or simply walk around the nearby lake. My wife also learned to make pizza at home, so we almost always eat homemade pizza on Saturday or Sunday nights.
Getting things done a little ahead during the week gives us a bit of a "break" on the weekends.
the forest hiking and lake walking sound fun. I wish I can do that in urban Singapore!
well I think it’s good that you have a distinction between weekdays and weekends, even if you feel that you are hanging by a thread
Yes, they're always lovely. My eldest loves chasing the ducks on the lake to watch them fly. They also have boats for rent, and sometimes we rent some, and it's great fun sailing on the lake with him.
sounds lovely! the Istana (what we call the presidential home here in Singapore) was open to the public recently. we went there and were thrilled to see swans. what was a special encounter could be an everyday occurrence for you and your boy