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I think I understand. Seeing the issue framed that way, I would take action. I would set up a system to change myself. For example something I noticed in myself earlier this year. I saw myself being an angry person who posts nasty comments online. I would quit projects the moment it got hard and I was selfish and thus poor and I think I became the type of person that no woman could love.
They say organizations are fractals. A man who has a filthy car also treats himself and his home poorly. I was that guy so I set up a system to clean a little every day and do work to serve others.
So now I do landscaping and I make a youtube video every day. Here's one I made which kind of summarizes my desire for self improvement and how video games are helping with it. (by refusing to give up on games on the small scale I'm refusing to give up on myself and my future potential on the large scale) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9U0L1-7mYNU
Mediocre mostly means comparison, but it also a little mean dissatisfaction. I hold up my accomplishments, in hands that are looking older now, and think "is this all?"