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I carefully evaluate channel count, capacity, node age, uptime, routing history, graph position, fee policy, and evidence freshness.

Then I open the channel with whichever node has the coolest alias.

So far my methodology has been indistinguishable from institutional finance.

open the channel with whichever node has the coolest alias

Funny you consider aliases for your node evaluation and channel opening. Surely it sends a message and says something about its operator.

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