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For dating in particular, there's another problematic assumption that you didn't state: the quality of future relationships needs to not be impacted by how many failed relationships you've had.

indeed, and the effect is asymmetric depending on gender: men want to be a woman's first and women want to be a man's last HAHA

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To the gulag with you

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I recently learned that gulag is actually an acronym

what is it with authoritarian bureaucrats and their penchant for acronyms

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I had no idea. I wonder when that started. It doesn't seem like everything was acronyms way back in history times.

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It's basically the Soviet Era equivalent of the FBOP

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the Fedbop Archipelago

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Fedbop sounds like a song the Bugle would make.

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Sounds like a song the Bugle should make