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if a friend asks you to help her move, and you do, and then she tries to pay you cash afterward
She is me lol. I'm aware of the problems with this enough that I'll usually disguise it as a dinner or drinks or something, ie I know people actually do these things to accumulate social capital (even if they aren't conscious of it) ... my reciprocation drive is so high though I need to literally spend it down.
There's like 5 PhD theses in this project you're building. Maybe more. Makes me think that that's an area of opportunity, to tap into that expertise / labor. Hmmm.
If you have any ideas about how I'd begin to do that, I'd be very interested.
my reciprocation drive is so high though I need to literally spend it down.
Ha! Well, to give you a tiny bit of psychotherapy, as long as the favor is freely given, doing a favor for someone you care about really is a gift to both parties. The relationship is enhanced by it. Both of you become closer as a result. That's a hard thing to internalize, I know (I'm kind of like you in my aversion to being socially indebted) but it really is true. That truth, plus the traditional potlatch of pizza + beer, is enough.
If you have any ideas about how I'd begin to do that, I'd be very interested.
I am about to hire an economist who's a very creative thinker. I'll discuss with him, I'm sure he'll have a bunch of ways to make this concrete. Will get back to you!
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