There's a powerful story from Buddhist philosophy, called 'the two darts,' that I have always found great solace in.

A person is hit by a dart, which causes them pain. This is the first dart.

Then, they react to the first dart. They blame themselves for being hit by it. They worry about what will happen to their health now. They wonder who threw it at them and why they did it and what went wrong in their relationship. And so on, and so on, their mind reacts in ways that create another layer of suffering on top of the first. This is the second dart.

The first dart is inescapable; the second dart is optional.

What is a better way to respond to our pain? With kindness. It doesn't only prevent the second dart, but it also has the power to reduce the pain of the first.

The next time that you're struggling, try saying these words to yourself:

_This happened to me. _ This is hard. That means that this is a moment for me to love myself.