You can’t please everyone.

Imagine that everyone’s opinion has a color. Your parent wants you to be teal, your partner wants you to be blue, your boss wants you to be pink, this part of society wants you to be orange, this different part of society wants you to be red…

If you try to be all of the colors at once, what will happen? You learned this in kindergarten: combining all of the colors gets you a murky, muddy mess — a far cry from the unique color that actually represents your opinions. When you try to please everyone, you lose what makes you you.

If you find yourself being constantly swayed by others’ opinions, here’s a helpful little tool. The next time you make a decision, ask yourself: “What choice would I make if no one else could offer an opinion on it and accepted my decision completely?” It can help you to learn how to tune into your real needs, your real desires, your real hopes — and start making the choices that are right for you.