He wouldn't.  The point of the thought exercise was to illustrate the consequences of an extremely kurtotic coin distribution.

elvismercury

bitcoin

Stranded sats

> If the rest of the world lost all its btc in a tragic boating accident, and the only UTXO left was @Onions with his stack of 2 btc, would you be like: welp, I guess Onions is the only person in the world with any money, great for him, guess we'll start over monetizing this thing from nothing?

Why would Onions want to have 2 BTC when the rest of the world has a few sats? It would be an amount so astronomical, it would exceed the world's wealth by many orders of magnitude. He wouldn't be able to spend even a tiny fraction of it without it losing value. He would have spent it long before such a disparity arose.