This is what an ETF is: https://www.investopedia.com/terms/e/etf.asp
Those who would argue for an ETF, do not take the power of custody seriously enough.
Stop putting so much value in the over lords, and start valuing yourself.
If you need help getting started, Etsy has a guide for new businesses
https://www.etsy.com/seller-handbook?ref=us_sell
@rapaygo can hook you up with a woo commerce site
Following the non technical route, coingate, has a woo commerce plugin https://coingate.com/plugins/woocommerce
Register your business: https://www.legalzoom.com/
Create a business plan and other guidance from the small business administration: https://www.sba.gov/business-guide/plan-your-business/write-your-business-plan
Consider lessons learned from El Zonte: https://galoy.io/bitcoin-banking-for-communities-lessons-learned-from-el-zonte/
Consider the sick gains from contributing to productivity growth: https://www.bls.gov/k12/productivity-101/content/why-is-productivity-important/home.htm
Every time your over lords get a bail out, your business will thrive and get richer because by the nature of bail outs, they will devalue the currency that they use, which will in turn, pump your bags.