This is Chapter 7 of The Universal Good Deal, you may want to start at the beginning or go back to Chapter 6.
7
Barrow, as representative of the Aliens, met Welles in the same office several hours later.
‘Who are you and why were you on one of their ships?’ asked Welles, curtly.
‘As I said, I am the second secretary of the American Aerial Advertising Association. The Aliens quite obviously were engaging in aerial advertising. I, therefore, approached them with an offer of membership in our association.’
‘You spoke with them? They speak English?’
‘The Aliens speak English quite well.’
‘What do they want from us?’
Barrow told her that the Aliens were not going to do them any evil or injury, but only trade with them, and win them to the knowledge of their wonderful products, so that they might become customers of the Aliens.1
‘The Aliens are very eager to do business,’ he said. ‘But, of course, they wish to abide by our customs and do everything legally.’
‘Why do you keep calling them aliens?’ asked Welles, irritated. ‘Didn’t they tell you who they are?’
'Yes, they did. They are Aliens. That’s what they want to be called,’ said Barrow.
‘It is possible that we will enter into an agreement with these...aliens, but it's not something we're going to just jump into. How’re we supposed to trust them when we haven’t even seen them. We have no idea who we are dealing with; we need more information. And when it comes to a trade agreement or anything like that, Congress is going to have to be involved.’
Barrow informed her that the Aliens simply wished to sell their goods on Earth and that no such complicated agreement was necessary.
‘How do we know they won't try to kill us all?’
‘They’re members of the Association!’ exclaimed Barrow.
‘What are they like, then? Tell me everything you know about these Aliens.’
‘Ms President,’ said Barrow, with patience. ‘The Association does not share the personal information of its members. The rule of professional secrecy is absolute.’2
‘Whose goddamn side are you on?’ Welles demanded.
‘The Association is on everyone's side,’ said Barrow glancing conspicuously at the clock on the wall. ‘Ms President, this isn't about power or control. It's about providing peace of mind to the public, people out there who are scared and uncertain. The Aliens will not wait forever. Why not resolve all this right now?’
There was much conversation and argument about this, which would be too lengthy to write, and far too boring to recount, as well as of little bearing on the case, hence, I will say no more than that Welles eventually agreed.3
She perceived that there was no putting a stop to the Aliens. And making a virtue of necessity, Welles decided that she would tell her people that they should go shopping.4 She had been told that the Aliens appeared in the sky towing banners that advertised some sort of sale, and since the Martians of that time were daily informed of sales, she reasoned that it would sound familiar and comforting. It was the only control she could exercise in the situation.
‘I must return to the Aliens and tell them that we have an agreement,’ said Barrow. ‘Please let me know if I can be of service.’
Welles said, 'I want to meet them.'
'I will be sure to inform them,' Barrow said with a cheerful smile. 'Good day.'
He returned to the lawn where a saucer was waiting. The plump little man disappeared inside as the ramp closed in a gush of steam. Thus by degrees we discover Barrow, whose ends were only to make the Association great, by means of nearness and favor with the Aliens; not caring who fell, so it stood.5
Chapter 8 tomorrow, same time, same place.
Footnotes
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Fernando Cortes, speaking to them through the medium of an interpreter who accompanied him, told them we were not going to do them any evil or injury, but only to instruct them, and win them to the knowledge of our Holy Catholic Faith, so that they might become vassals of Your Majesties, serving and obeying them, as had all the Indians of these parts which the Spaniards have settled, who are likewise vassals of Your Royal Highnesses. Hernán Cortés de Monroy, Letter Sent to the Queen Dona Juana, and Emporer Charles V., her son, by the Judiciary and Municipal Authorities of the Villa Rica de la Vera Cruz, 10 July 1519 translated by Francis McNutt 1908 ↩
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The rule of professional secrecy is absolute. Eugène Brieux, Damaged Goods (Les Avariés) 1901 Translated by John Pollock ↩
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We had much conversation and argument about this, which would be too lengthy to write, and even too prolix to recount to Your Highness, as well as of little bearing on the case, hence I will not say more than that finally he agreed. Hernán Cortés, Second Letter of Relation to Emperor Charles V. 30 October 1520 in Letters of Cortes, Translated by Francis A MacNutt 1908 ↩
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Montezuma, perceiving there was no putting a stop to this Evil, making a virtue of Necessity, set his Nephew Camatzin, Lord of Tescuco, and other noble Men in great Pomp, to meet him a days Journey off, and conduct him. John Francis Gemelli Careri, “A Voyage Around the World” 1698 ↩
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Thus by degrees we began to discover Tisquantum, whose ends were only to make himself great in the eyes of his countrymen, by means of his nearness and favor with us; not caring who fell, so he stood. Edward Winslow, Good News From New England 1624 ↩
Footnotes