This is Chapter 15 of The Universal Good Deal, you may want to start at the beginning or go back to Chapter 14.

Despite Flinders' warning that the Aliens and their trade boded ill for the Martians, Jane returned to the Aliens the next day, probably out of curiosity to see if the Aliens had really come all this way to sell knick-knacks. Franklin accompanied her. Again there were great crowds and long lines.

As they got closer, it became clear that the Aliens were selling something other than paperweights that day. On a table next to the Aliens were rows of little bottles filled with a bright green liquid.

'Good day,' said the Alien. 'May we interest you in a waterbed?'

'Nobody wants a waterbed,' said Jane.

It may come as a surprise to the modern audience that the Martians had actually discovered that hallmark of advanced civilization (waterbed technology) prior to the arrival of the Aliens. Unfortunately, their peculiarly uninspired execution of the concept led them to abandon this sublime technology in favor of resting on pieces of twisted metal. You see, they simply filled a bag with water and tried to sleep on it. In an era when there is probably no one who does not enjoy the bliss and convenience of sleeping in water, it is hard to understand how they could come so close and end up with such a bad idea. Somehow the Martians failed to recognize that the great advance of the waterbed was only realized by sleeping in the water.

'Actually, they have been quite popular all day,' said the Alien.

'What do they look like?' asked Franklin.

The Alien picked up one of the bottles.

'It fits in a bottle?'

'This lotion is very buoyant. Rub it all over your body before laying down in any pool of water and you float in perfect peace all night long.'

'This is completely ridiculous,' said Jane.

'I don't know,' said Franklin. 'It sounds like it might be kinda comfortable.'

'All he's selling is a bottle of lotion!'

'You'll never sleep on a bed again,' said the Alien.

Franklin slept in the bathtub that night.

'At least I'm not going to drown,' Jane said, refusing to join him. She even refused to watch him get into the tub and see how it worked. Sitting on their bed, she listened as Franklin made little splashing sounds.

'Are you all right?' she called.

'Oh, wow,' said Franklin.

'You know you're being ridiculous,' said Jane. 'I'm not going to get any sleep tonight because I'll be thinking you're drowning every ten seconds.'

'This is amazing,' said Franklin.

Jane pulled the covers over her head.

In the morning, Franklin rose earlier than usual, and burst naked and bright green into the bedroom where Jane had only recently fallen asleep.

'That was the best night's sleep I've ever had,' he said. 'You've got to try it!'

Jane did try the lotion, and of course realized how much better it was then the current Martian sleeping practices. Franklin intended to purchase a large plastic pool on his way home from Flinders' office that day, but was unable to because every vessel capable of carrying enough water for a Martian to sleep in was sold out.

After this, Franklin and Jane made a point of visiting the Aliens each day to see what new wares they were offering. It is delightful to be able to overwhelm the needy with riches, not less so I imagine, when it is done at no cost; and here, the Aliens made these poor people feel as rich and as happy, with what was—to the Aliens—little better than dollar-store junk, as if their factory-made trinkets were priceless works of art.¹