Old Happy: "I have to hold tightly and control."
New Happy: "I can let go and trust."

You want that person to change. You want the past to have gone differently. You want the future to go your way.

One of the hardest things about being human is that at the end of the day, we don’t have a lot of control over what happens to us. This is incredibly hard on our well-being, because as human beings, we absolutely love being in control and absolutely hate having no control.

That’s why we cling onto things. We think that it gives us the control that we long for. Unfortunately, though, this clinging just needs to new pain. Think about the burden that you’ve put upon yourself by trying to control the uncontrollable. As hard as it is to acknowledge, it must be done: you can’t change that person, you can rewrite the past, you can’t control the future.

If you’re ready to let go, there’s a tool we’ve developed to help you. It’s called the 4 C’s.

Clinging: Name what you’re holding onto. You can usually identify it by asking yourself, “What am I trying to control in this moment?”

Compassion: Acknowledge any pain you’re in and extend love to yourself, saying something like, “It’s okay that I want this.”

Choose: Now that you’ve named it, you have the opportunity to decide whether you choose to let go of what you’re clinging to. Would it serve you more to hold onto it—or to let go of it?

Courage: If the answer is ‘let go,’ take one brave step towards releasing it.

Letting go is not something you do once. It’s something you do over and over again. Every time you let go, you free yourself a little bit more, until suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, you realize that you have truly moved forward into a new phase of your life — one of greater peace and happiness.