Every parent will tell you that you gotta become one yourself before you really come to grips with its multiple demands. No one, no book, no video can prepare you adequately for this life-changing milestone.
While I agree with this line of thought. I think not attempting to capture the shock therapy of parenting is also a cop-out. Why don’t people post more about their parenting woes instead of sharing blissful family moments, with their mini humans dressed in too-cute-to-kill OOTD?
I guess everyone’s triggers are different, so maybe most parents find it hard to write universal stuff that will resonate with other parent comrades. Or as I have personally experienced, I wanted to pen something to provide the yang to balance the yin, but by the time the storm rages past, I’m just so relieved and savoring the calm that I no longer feel the urge to air parenting’s dirty laundry.
Which is a long preamble to ask you guys: what has caught you totally off guard in your parenting journey?
For me, it has to do with how small kids fall sick unexpectedly with alarming regularity. My elder son inexplicably gets sick during my school holidays - the sacred period where I hope to regain a semblance of my once-active social life. It has happened for four such holidays. (Yes, I started counting haha.) I would be upset whenever this happened even though I rationally knew that he didn’t fall sick to spite me haha. I did begrudge the Universe though for trying to get me.
It was only when my colleague told me one day that she read somewhere about how children need to fall sick regularly to develop their immune system that I began to gain some perspective. These days, I live through life, half-expecting that my children will fall sick. It’s just easier to roll with the punches this way.
My challenge right now is to be Zen about it. My daughter vomitted five times during the night the day before yesterday. It happened out of the blue. She was busily demanding to walk everywhere before her bedtime. We changed her pajamas five times.
The thing about children falling sick is that the general mood in my household goes down. My wife has to take half a day of childcare leave to take my daughter to the doctor. She’s worried that her six days of childcare leave will run out before 2025 kicks in. She has to work from home and take care of the girl; she’s probably cursing the heavens why she’s the one straddled with this responsibility. I offered to take childcare leave today but she said nope because she feels that she will still have to be around to nurse our daughter to recovery anyway. Fun times!
I think a great part about cultivating resilience is enjoying the struggle. But I find it hard to go with the flow without my feelings being disrupted.
What has been the greatest curveball parenting has thrown you? And do you enjoy the struggle?