Dual Income vs Home Production \ stacker news ~Personal

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1178 sats \ 11 comments \ @Undisciplined 5 Feb Personal_Finance

One of my hobby horses is couples having someone focus on home production, rather than have two full-time income earners.

Most of the couples we know have one spouse who wants to stay home (focusing on the kids and chores) and the other spouse being opposed to them doing that. Whenever the subject comes up, I encourage them to work out how much disposable income they would actually generate (or are generating) from the second job.

After accounting for taxes and many other additional costs (work clothes, vehicle, daycare, cleaners, prepared food, etc.) it's often the case that the second income is only like $10k per year. That's less than minimum wage while giving up all the benefits of additional parental time, home cooked meals, and whatever else.

That's the US case. I wonder how it's different elsewhere and how other people think about this tradeoff.

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625 sats \ 1 reply \ @KeynesianClowns 5 Feb

I think it really depends on the couple and necessitates having children to have this discussion. If a family is struggling to get by due to dealing with low income, both parents obviously have to keep working at that time, and the freedom to do this is something they should be working towards.

That said, the way this article poses the question, you're probably not referring to this previous case, but rather to a family that is around the median in earnings. In that case, I think it would be a case of good parenting for at least one of the parents to work their way out of a job, whether that be through hobbyist entrepreneurship (perhaps they could be teaching their children elements of homesteading and sell whatever excess they don't need), cutting spending, or some other method that works for them.

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Undisciplined OP 6 Feb

Yeah, I am thinking about people who are at or above median household incomes even with just one earner. I'm also not thinking about friends and family where both parents really want to work.

I think taking care of kids, preparing delicious healthy meals, and all the other things stay-at-home parents do is extremely valuable and it bothers me when one spouse looks down on the other for doing it or wanting to do it.

625 sats \ 3 replies \ @kepford 5 Feb

Its a very personal value judgement to me. I think few people every do the math on dual incomes with the costs to relationships with children as well as the costs of day care. Not to mention that your kids are only kids for a short time. I reject the idea that you can't survive in the US on a single income. You can, but it isn't easy and you have to make choices that make it possible.

33 sats \ 2 replies \ @Undisciplined OP 6 Feb

More and more, I feel like many families are not reaching their full potential because of this unquestioned assumption that both parents need to work.

I get that there are many families for whom dual earners is the best course of action. I just wish people would actually consider their options and (more importantly) respect their partners desires to do that kind of work and not look down on it as less important than drawing a salary.

625 sats \ 1 reply \ @kepford 6 Feb

I have always expressed to my wife and others that I could not be where I am nor our family what it is without her. She has always worked. Some was in the home some outside the home. I have no time for men that do not respect the work of their wife. Its a sign of weakness to me.

10 sats \ 0 replies \ @Undisciplined OP 6 Feb

Yes, the men I know with this attitude either want their wife to work for social status reasons or because they think it's the only way for her to pull her weight. I don't respect either position.

We also have a friend whose husband is a great stay at home dad, but is not out of work entirely by choice. I think she pities him slightly, which I sort of get, but I wish she could more easily focus on the value of what he's doing.

625 sats \ 1 reply \ @ablunderfilledlife 5 Feb

Would you pay $10K a year to spend more time with your kids and ensure that their education is based on your family's values? I sure as hell would.

I will admit for my own family that in the stay-at-home spouse there is still that US entrepreneurial spirit that kicks and haws. Free time in between meal prep, the playing, the educating, the cleaning, and the watching feels like money not earned. We haven't put that spirit to bed yet, but at some point, if it's only creating stress and not much income, we are basically rebuilding a prison around ourselves after having escaped one built by some other employer.

21 sats \ 0 replies \ @Undisciplined OP 5 Feb

I'm all for side hustles, as long as they're complements rather than substitutes for family life.

30 sats \ 2 replies \ @FallingD02 19 Feb

In my opinion, it is good for the wife to generate income and be independent monetarily speaking, but on the other hand the ideal is that you can raise your child and that means being at home, attentive and guiding! So, many miss that stage just because they work, I personally never saw my parents only at night and on occasional days because they were literally always working. So I consider that there is a better way where at least one parent accompanies the child most of the time, to take care of him and guide him, while the other who works complements with the upbringing and the home during his stay at home free from work.

0 sats \ 1 reply \ @Undisciplined OP 19 Feb

it is good for the wife to generate income

I don't disagree, but part of my point is that you want net income. After taxes and adding up additional expenses the second earner often generates very little usable income for their family.

Now, if we're talking about generating untaxed income, that would be a different story.

30 sats \ 0 replies \ @FallingD02 19 Feb

You are right, I think it is not worth losing family time for more work that then leads you to pay more tax.