I've studied the political problems we face, and I've spoken, written, criticized, and complained about them. I've spent time and money trying to change voters' minds -- to superimpose my beliefs on the nation. I've spent time in self-quarantine from the political process entirely.

After decades in politics, including activism, campaigning, and canvassing; trolling, shitposting and mememaking; reading, writing, and online debating; building, volunteering, and grassroots organizing -- my perspective is entirely rebuilt.

I see myself as a free thinker with an open mind, and I believe I held reasonably true throughout, but for some, it involves going against instincts, principles, and even the truth. It should be obvious, but unfortunately it's not - living unnaturally results in burnout.

I found the political circus to be a game that values clout over authenticity. Those with less clout are powerless assets to exploit, then viewed as competition as they gain voters, readers, viewers, or 'followers'. The gatekeepers maintain a watchful eye on the up-and-coming, whom they view as a threat to their status quo empire of influence. If they can use you they will - and if they can't control you, they'll ignore you, laugh at you, or destroy you.

I've learned that these elitists and elitist wannabees -- often the ones who seek megaphones and microphones -- are not always the most honest, not always the most authentic, and not always who we would want to lead us. If we listen only to these megaphones and microphones (or like me, butt up against the brick ceiling they represent), it's easy to think that it is hopeless. But there are a lot of quiet dissenters out there that remain uncounted -- they are the real strength. They are the 99%, the foundation upon which all ambitious heirarchies are built.

I conclude that traditional political involvement, and even modern alternative involvement in some respects, is mostly unaligned with my purpose and personal growth. I fit where ideas and authenticity are of value over political power or superficial status.

Knowing that, there are still ways that I can rationally and effectively be the change that I want to see in the world. It centers around leading by example and includes measured individual actions toward making things better than they otherwise would have been.

First, I make sure I have a clear picture of my goals, and who I want to be. To make my actions maximally effective, I identify and expand my skillset, influence, reach, and reputation through honest effort and proof of work. Then I look for ethical actions that match and have low expense, but high returns.

For instance, writing and speechmaking needs all the pieces in place to be effective, including audience, message, and delivery. But a picture is worth a thousand words. So I meme for free from home. Likewise, time, energy, and effort can be sunk into unsuccessful attempts to persuade non-receptive audiences, resulting in a challenge to optimistic positivity, so I focus on working with allies rather than debating political opponents.

And I'm happier, and I'm more effective.

For all I've seen and experienced, been part of and been through, it is most important that my life and the lives of those closest to me are as good as they can be.

To each his own, but for me, this way I'm free.