25

Back believed that the weakness was excessive,¹ and voiced a question they had all asked in their hearts, ‘How do we even know that we can survive on these rations?’

‘I think the medical staff back on Earth know a good deal more about it than we do,’ said Franklin. ‘They’d hardly starve us to death.’

‘What if that’s exactly what they’ve done? If they know we’re screwed, do you think they’d tell us? Better to trick us into a heroic end, where we all think we’re gonna make it if we can just hold out.’

‘Does it really make any difference,’ asked Greenstockings, looking as though she thought it might.

‘I say we have a feast,’ said Back. ‘One good meal won’t put any kind of dent in what we’ve got left.’

‘Anything extra we eat now is something we won’t have later, when things may be really grim. Why would you risk your life for a single meal?’ asked Richards.

‘What if we die on these rations? What if it isn’t enough to keep us alive? Some fools we’ll be when we die of starvation with a shipful of food.’

‘We should stick to the plan,’ said Franklin.

‘Even if you think we’ll make it, take a look at us! We look like skeletons. We’re all weak. A real meal—a full meal—would help keep our spirits up.’

‘It’s too risky,’ said Franklin.

Back’s point was strong enough that Richards didn’t say anything.

‘The plan says this is how much we eat,’ Franklin continued. ‘If we eat more than this, we won’t have enough to make it back to Earth. They thought this plan through.’

‘Like they did at Ceres? What if they made a mistake? What good is the plan for those of us who are going to die before we even make it close to home? You know it’s going to happen. I’m not the only one who sees it.’

Indeed, the strongest among them was reduced to little more than a shadow of what they had been even one month earlier.² If they had compared themselves to pictures from the beginning of the expedition, they would have been shocked at their emaciated countenances.³

‘Maybe that’s their plan: starve a few of us off and make some room, that way those who survive can eat a little better.’

‘The same thing will happen if we do what you want, only we’ll run out of food sooner,’ said Richards.

‘We should stick to the plan,’ Franklin repeated.

‘Fine!’ Back shouted. ‘Let me use enough of my rations to make a real meal for myself. I need to eat. If I run out before the rest of you, let me starve.’

‘You know that will never work, George,’ said Richards. ‘We can’t let you starve.’

The conversation ended like this. But once the idea was raised, none of them was able to let it go.