We are creatures of habit. 43% of our daily actions are done unconsciously. These behaviors are then rooted into the environment and relationships surrounding you, prompting you to do the same things in the same way, over and over again.
Sometimes, these habits turn into cycles: patterns of behavior that end up hurting both ourselves and others. You might see these cycles in your relationships, where you find yourself caught in a predetermined role or an unhealthy dynamic. You might see it in the way that you parent your children or treat your loved ones, passing on what you learned from your own childhood. And you might see it in your own behavior, in the ways that you struggle to make the choices that help you to thrive.
If you are stuck in a cycle, please know this: yes, they are hard to break; but yes, you are capable of doing so.
You can change. Relationships can change. The world can change. It’s all possible. To break a cycle, you’ll need three things: conviction, courage, and compassion.
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Conviction: Believe that you are worthy of more: worthy of different dynamics, worthy of health and well-being, worthy of true love.
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Compassion: Recognize that your patterns come from the past and that you developed them in order to survive or cope in difficult situations. With this understanding, you can treat yourself with love and kindness; with that love and kindness, it's possible to change.
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Courage: Harness your bravery and decide to make one different choice. That might be saying “no,” or “yes,” or walking away, or asking for help, or trying something new. Repeat, as often as you can. One step at a time, you will break the cycle.