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File 00098445667--Excerpt from Time Travel for Dummies

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Slip Stream Travel demonstrates that time is not as tidy as we typically experience it. As of yet, no one has gone back in time and returned to report on the subject. Hence, it is the guide's official opinion that any sort of time travel to the past is inadvisable. However, since the title of this volume is Time Travel For Dummies, we will anticipate that good judgment is not among the characteristics of the reader, and so we will assume that the reader is likely to find his/herself inadvertently time traveling possibly in the past, perhaps in the future. Most of what is presented here is theory, but should one find themselves time traveling, they are likely to appreciate theory as opposed to nothing at all!

One thing that seems to be true of our immediate present is that although time is fluid, there appear to be certain constraints. The arrow of time, or entropy, does not seem to reverse and allow a dropped glass that shatters to reorder itself from the pieces. No one is terribly surprised, then, if a delicate teacup is placed perilously close to the edge of something only to later fall and break into pieces. We might be surprised if a teacup placed in such a tenuous position would persist without falling. If, however, the teacup were placed farther back on something solid, we might be surprised if it should suddenly shatter without warning.

These immediately intuitively true observations highlight a larger general truth. Though the teacup does NOT have to fall or else not shatter in the scenarios painted above, our expectations are the opposite given how we typically understand the workings of time. Put bluntly, certain things become more likely to the point of near certainty when they assume particular properties.

The difference between the teacup scenario and time as theory predicts it is that certain events in time are likely less malleable. Moving the teacup changes our expectations greatly. However, suppose we were to go and try to prevent the entire outbreak of a war. Even if the war hinged on the death or survival of one person, if that person lived or died, the underlying conditions in time are such that even if that particular war is averted, another war just like it not distantly thereafter is likely. We can simply say that the conditions are right in the time stream for such a thing to happen, and like a tinder box, all that is needed is the slightest bit of spark to set the whole thing ablaze and in motion.

It is hence hypothesized that any time travel with the intent of changing a major event will be met with resistance and that even if the event is changed, time will tend to re-order itself around the same approximate chain of events.

This may be why anyone who has attempted time travel has not come forward in the future to report on their findings. Since in our time era, there is not such a person who had done so, it may be that should a person desire to discuss their time traveling in our era, time arrays itself such that events transpire that that person cannot share their experiences and observations. Perhaps a person attempts to describe their experiences, for example, but is regarded as psychologically unstable and then institutionalized. Even if the person does not believe they are crazy, time arrays itself against the person such that nothing they say is believed.

This theory is not strictly testable because, as noted, it anticipates time working against it. Suppose we wanted to test whether or not someone in an institution WERE in fact a time traveler. We would likely find ambiguous results or else be unable to conduct our experiment because the events of time as it is unfolding would not allow for such an experience to exist at a mass consciousness level.

What might happen, though, is that events such as time travel and experiences thereof cluster around select nodes throughout time that do not regard such a thing as inherently possible or impossible. When the conditions of time allow for it, perhaps these nodes can push awareness of past time travel into the collective.

For the Dummy, though, who finds his or herself hurtling through time, the first thing we advise is not to try to make yourself rich, or give your great, great, great, great grandparents investment advice. By the time you land on the scene, time will probably have re-arrayed itself such that you will still be the same broke jerk you were before you left. Likewise, we do not advise trying to change something on a national level, as such a change is even less likely to take effect than making one's self rich. Your best bet is to attempt to figure out what conditions dislodged you from time and attempt to re-emulate those conditions to get back to the time in which you belong. The fewer people interacted with, the better. The first step any time traveler needs to know, then, is not to time travel. The second step is that if you DO find yourself time traveling, it is advisable to find a way to get yourself back to your proper time period as quickly as possible.

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