Studies from UCLA and other institutions have found that putting your feelings into words makes them easier to cope with. For example:
  • Rating your anger on a scale of 1-5 reduces your heart rate, a measure of distress.
  • Describing your emotions when dealing with a phobia increases your courage in facing it.
  • Adding a label to an emotion (like "that's sadness" or "this is fear") decreases the activity in your amygdala, which is where your fight-or-flight response comes from.
As one of my favorite Mister Rogers quotes put it:
"Anything that’s human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary. The people we trust with that important talk can help us know that we are not alone.”
Find someone who makes you feel like your feelings are mentionable.
Say, "I'm feeling all tangled up in my emotions. Do you have a few minutes to listen to me?"
Then, share. As you do, notice how they untangle themselves and become more manageable.
In a way, this reminds me of the quote:
Nothing human is alien to me
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we are all aliens to someone
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