Bitmain Labels Miners That Can Mine Multiple Hashing Algorithms “Trans Miners” to Boost ESG Scores
Core Scientific and Marathon Digital both expressed erotic pleasure at the news that Bitmain would be classifying certain miners that could hash different cryptocurrency hashing algorithms as "Trans Miners" in order to raise ESG scores for mining companies.
Riot Blockchain on the other hand expressed displeasure at the move with CEO Jason Les responded by saying, "We don't need these stupid woke psyops in the mining space. We're trying to do productive things like fight the US Federal government and get the world on a Bitcoin standard."
The move by Bitmain has shocked the industry that had thought that Marty Bent, Steve Barbour and his assistant Adam O had defeated the ESG movement this last cycle. Unfortunately it would seem that ESG will be coming back with a vengeance, as Pubcos look for creative ways to sell their stocks to woke investment funds that could be buying the Bitcoin spot ETFs instead.
Many miners are confused by the move as most miners that had shipped before have been able to mine multiple coins. There are over 200 various mineable coins that use SHA-256, meaning that a typical Bitcoin miner is already trans according to Bitmain's new standards.
Bitmain is rumored to also be working on shipping a miner with RGB lights in the fans, which they claim is gayer than previous miners. They/them are seeking to ship these sometime Q2 of this year. The model name is rumored to be the S21G which is short for "S21 Gay."
Marshall Long responded to the news by saying, "I've been mining Bitcoin since 1978 and have never seen this gay shit. We don't put up with this in Texas. I'm only going to be using Micro BT from now on."
It seems that ESG is still alive and well in the Bitcoin mining industry, as BlackRock continues expand their exposure to publicly traded mining companies.