Old Happy: "I'm stuck — which makes me a mess, a failure, a disaster." New Happy: “I'm a human being — which means I get stuck in patterns sometimes, and that's okay."

It happens: you fall into pattern, a rut, a standstill, a disequilibrium, a detente, a taking-another-for-granted, or a repeat of what you experienced in your childhood. And it's perfectly normal that it happens.

Human beings are patterned creatures: we gravitate towards what is familiar, we repeat it, and that very act of repetition makes it a part of our selves, lives, and relationships. But just because you fall into a pattern doesn't mean that you have to stay in it.

The first—and often hardest—step is to notice that you are stuck at all. The best way to do it is to take a step back from your daily life. You can physically step back (get distance, go on a holiday, disrupt your routine.) You can mentally step back (engage in reflection exercises, try to see your life from another's perspective.) Or you can lean on others to help you to see your life from a different angle (asking for feedback, imagining a trusted mentor giving you advice.)

With that new awareness, you can take the second step, which is, more often than not, making just one small different choice.

It might not be comfortable at first. But you're strong. Stronger than you know. You've just proven that to yourself by making this choice — to leave what is known and comfortable, but no longer serving you, and venture towards what is healthy, joyful and fulfilling.