My friend, you need to take a chill pill n breathe.
I don’t know enough about the situation in the States, so won’t comment about high school kids with cognitive deficiencies being pushed towards college. I think student loan debt in American is bloody shitty. Nonetheless, even though tradespeople can earn a respectable living, the truth that college-educated people earn more throughout their lifetime than people with a high school diploma is irrefutable. I guess it depends on how self-aware n driven the high school kid is. If he has no clue about what to do with his life, I can imagine myself asking him to apply for college because isn’t college an avenue to explore options and get in touch with the individual he is? If he is more self-possessed, then sure. Enrol into a vocational college or take a gap year or be an influencer. You will have Sensei’s blessings.
Oh come on, statistically speaking, most high sch couples break up when they spilt ways during college. The version of this in Singapore is: most 18-20-year-old couples should just separate when the boy gets enrolled into compulsory military conscription and the girl sets off for university. Well-meaning parents n friends advise them to break up because the girl is likely to meet someone else when her social circle expands in college. Still, I think you are forgetting the role of the couple in this. Love-struck couples, especially defiant ones in their late teens, will ignore conventional advice n give it a go, regardless of the odds. What I’m saying is that those high sch couples who succumb to this conventional advice aren’t really in love in the first place.
I think you’re ignoring the additional pressures on young people these days. With inflation n skyrocketing costs of living n increasing job insecurity, of course young people wanna secure their bread n butter before they think about procreation. Just yesterday, I met up with friends who are based in Sydney. They are professionals, yet priced out of the exorbitant housing market. Not to say that renting is wrong. But not having the option to buy your own house surely puts stress on some young people who then chase after the next promotion. Because money not enough.
Personally, I’m a late parent. Reaching my mid 40s n my baby girl is just 15 months old. Still I have no regrets about not being able to meet my grandchildren, should she decide to have kids. I mean, in my early 30s, I was happy travelling all over Japan. Honestly, I wouldn’t swap that for anything.
In general, I think just being self-aware n taking ownership of your life choices are keys to living out your life. I wanna my children to not give a fuck about anything if they are hell bent on pursuing the path that they deem will bring them happiness n fulfilment.
I suspect this might be the longest reply I wrote here. Why are you triggering me on a lazy Saturday afternoon?!
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the truth that college-educated people earn more throughout their lifetime than people with a high school diploma is irrefutable
My friend, I'm a labor economist and this is not true for most students. For one thing, it's only a minority that finish college. So, that''s a negative return for most right there.
Then when we look at graduates, it's true that the average returns are positive, but that's because they are very large for the best students and basically zero for everyone else. For most people who finish college in America, it's a wash with what their lifetime earnings would have been if they hadn't gone.
That particular research is pretty new, though, so I'm not faulting anyone for not knowing it. What isn't new at all is knowing that most people don't finish college. Kids in American schools are not presented any alternatives to going to college. That strikes me as a horrible disservice when most will have to make their way without a college education.
Oh come on, statistically speaking, most high sch couples break up when they spilt ways during college.
Do you think that has anything to do with everyone telling them it's not going to work? Doesn't Singapore have one of the worst fertility declines in the world? Maybe these aren't healthy norms to be enforcing.
What I’m saying is that those high sch couples who succumb to this conventional advice aren’t really in love in the first place.
Fair point. I still think it would be better for our cultures to take these relationships more seriously and encourage commitment. I don't think people need encouragement to give up when things are hard.
you’re ignoring the additional pressures on young people these days
I know it's tough to get started. It was tough getting started during the last financial crisis, too. If young people had more clarity about what they wanted to get out of life, though, they could start making decisions earlier that would help them get there. What I'm reacting to is a whole array of cultural messaging that systematically orients people away from the kinds of lives that most people find fulfilling.
Honestly, I wouldn’t swap that for anything.
I'm glad to hear that. I don't want to suggest that there's one path through life that everyone should take. What I'm bothered by is how many young people seem to be floundering in the hyper-novel environment our culture has become.
In general, I think just being self-aware n taking ownership of your life choices are keys to living out your life. I wanna my children to not give a fuck about anything if they are hell bent on pursuing the path that they deem will bring them happiness n fulfilment.
In this we totally agree. If I could reframe my point slightly, I'd say that I don't think young people are being equipped with the realistic expectations that would make those things more attainable.
Thanks for the thoughtful reply.
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Several things strike me as different about the Singapore situation.
  1. Culturally, we don’t have an issue of people not finishing college. I don’t even know if there are statistics that highlight the non-completion rate. About 60% of each cohort move on to college. So we have the problem of too many University graduates.
  2. Graduates in some fields earn more than others These figures are published transparently, so young people know what they are getting into. I think many young people are savvy these days. Their main job is just one way of getting an income. Everyone seems to have a side hustle these days. Haha
  3. Because we live in such a compact country, we are hyper-sensitised about comparing ourselves with the Joneses. People tend to take a pragmatic view towards life. There is this whole race about saving your first $100k before the age of 30. $100k is arbitrary, but many people subscribe to it because we are a competitive people. I think culturally, we are wired to give up on things if we CANNOT see a future at this point in time rather than wait to see how things will evolve.
  4. Just wanted to end this with a video about a Catholic boy converting to Islam because of his Muslim girlfriend. Not a LDR but the obstacles they went through to reconcile both families just send goosebumps down my spine. Which leads to my original point: couples who are really in love will give it a go, no matter what.
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Do you have a sense of how undergraduate college education compares in difficulty between Singapore and America?
My only points of reference are that European and Chinese colleges are considered easier than American, although good Chinese colleges are much harder to get into.
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I only know anecdotally that American colleges focus a lot on expressing your opinions aloud in class - and how some students fluff their way through with statements that sound grand but have no substance haha
Tbf I think it’s more difficult to complete college in the States. In Singapore, a natural support system exists. You arrive at the campus grounds, already knowing seniors or peers from tuition centres who have paved the way for you. We are a competitive people but most of us genuinely share our insights n notes with our friends. There’s this this sense of looking out for those around us. Some of us may live on campus, but it just takes us at most 1.5 hours to reach home and seek solace in the comfort of family.
Compare this to either a hothoused kid from a rich background or his counterpart from an inner city school. Having to fend for himself in a state he may not be familiar with, building up his support system by making friends from scratch, having to manage his own finances, succumbing to so many temptations like alcohol partying sex, feeling the giddy feeling of freedom - it’s just too many unknown variables to expect an 18-year-old to juggle with
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some students fluff their way through with statements that sound grand but have no substance
Can confirm
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the longest reply
Well, also the reply I was hoping to see here.
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