Most of us were not taught how to understand and manage our feelings. Here's what I want you to know: your emotions are not something to be ashamed of. You don’t have to control your feelings. You don’t have to feel shame for them. Your feelings are something to learn from and work with.
One of the most helpful tools for doing this is called The Feelings Wheel, a tool developed by Dr. Gloria Wilcox to help people to understand and label their feelings.
Extensive research has found that labeling your emotions is one of the best things you can do to improve your mental health. Studies from UCLA and other institutions have found that putting your feelings into words makes them easier to cope with. For example:
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Rating your anger on a scale of 1-5 reduces your heart rate, a measure of distress.
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Describing your emotions when dealing with a phobia increases your courage in facing it.
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Adding a label to an emotion (like "that's sadness" or "this is fear") decreases the activity in your amygdala, which is where your fight-or-flight response comes from.
Learning how to treat yourself with greater compassion — no matter what you're feeling — is one of the most important happiness skills there is.