pull down to refresh

This is the last chapter of The Final Product, you may want to go back to Chapter 3 or start at the beginning.

4

When Barrow found himself in communion with the Aliens, it felt as natural to him as moving one of his own limbs, and as unnatural as if that limb were a third arm or leg. He experienced a strong feeling of fear. He had the sensation that something horrible was just beyond the field of his vision, moving as he turned his head, so that he never quite saw it. He felt nauseous; he remained on the table and kept his eyes closed tightly.1
‘Surprise! It’s telepathy!’ teeped one of the Aliens.2 ‘Welcome to the pure continuum of reality!’3
‘Hello?’ said Barrow. ‘Who’s there?’
The Alien responded that there was no need to use language, he could teep now.
Barrow’s thoughts were somewhat in chaos, jumping from fright to awe, teeping half-formed questions and thoughts at the Aliens around him.
‘Calm down,’ teeped one of the Aliens.
‘Good God, man, you’re going to give us all palpitations. Take it easy!’ teeped another.
Unfortunately, Barrow, like most Martians, was not terribly practiced at calming his thoughts. The result was that even his efforts to calm himself were somewhat jarring. All the Aliens in the room teeped calmness at him, as they would an infant. Such action normally wouldn't work on an adult, but the Martians often functioned as infants in the beginning of their experience with teeping.
‘What is...how do I make...who is...how...I need to...but what...’
‘It comes down to attention,’ teeped one of the Aliens. ‘You can pretty much reach any other teeper around the planet, but you only do what you pay attention to.’
‘You’ll get the hang of it soon enough,’ teeped another Alien. ‘It’s very convenient. And a hell of a lot better than those noises you all make.’
‘Teeping works better than any other mode of communication to turn confusion down, productivity up!’4
‘And it’s not even as invasive as learning a second language!’ teeped another.5
‘That’s why we always say: Try some telepathy before lunch!’6
Obviously, the Aliens did not actually use language when the teeped, and so these wordy descriptions of their communications are approximations at best—an inaccuracy forced on me by my choice to record this history in one of the Martian languages. Here and throughout this work, I have translated the teeping into words and sentences, and so, of course, much of the meaning is stripped away. Such is the business of history. But it's still pretty much what happened.
Chapter 5 tomorrow, same time, same place.

Footnotes

  1. I experienced a strong feeling of fear. I had the feeling that some horrible image was just beyond the field of vision, moving, as I turned my head, so that I never quite saw it. I felt nauseous; I lay down and closed my eyes. William S Burroughs, Junky 1953
  2. Suprise! Sugar isn't a bad guy. Sugar Information, Inc. 1971
  3. A pure continuum of reality. Benjamin Whorf, Language, Mind, and Reality 1941
  4. Sugar works faster than any other food to turn your appetite down, turn energy up. Sugar Information, Inc. 1971
  5. 3 teaspoons of Domino Sugar contain fewer calories than 3 raw carrots! Domino Sugar, Life Magazine 20 April 1953
  6. Snack on some candy before lunch. Sugar Information, Inc. 1971