part 1: #550600
we live in a world where not making alot of money and not wanting a full time job automatically equates to laziness.
as i have said before, i can't work a 9-5. in no way does this make me a lazy person, it's just not for me. plain and simple.
i did it for a month in japan. i hated it, and i don't think i could ever go back to one. ever.
i've never felt so tired, stressed, and overwhelmed in my life. my mind was always on work, i felt like i hardy slept, and i would get panic attacks just thinking about how i was gonna get through the coming days of the week.
and get this, my last week of work i got sick with the worst cold ever.
to make it even better, i was only allowed 10 day paid days off which are used for both sick time and vacation time.
so, five of those paid days are already gone, and if i get sick again or took other time off, i wouldn't be able to go home for the end of year holidays. something within me just had enough at that point.
that, on top of so many other reasons (which i might talk about in the future) are why i ultimately left to go back home.
to me, that experience was just purely survival and no way to live.
so, now i am taking it upon myself to pave my own way to thriving.
i've learned that self-made success doesn't come overnight, and i have come to terms with that.
but because i am following this route, it's almost like i have to .... apologize??? for doing the right thing for myself? living with family that isn't on the same wavelength as you or doesn't even seem like they are trying to understand you is so fucking hard.
if going across that DAMN OCEAN didn't even shake them, i doubt anything will at this point.
knowing that, i have found it better to keep my head down, stay quiet about my intentions, and keep doing what i'm doing everyday because i know i am working towards what i want, and all of my desires are being fulfilled right now.
if there is something to take away from this post, pave the way so you can thrive in life, and not just survive. trust that you will find a way to make things work so you can get to where you want to go.