• The majority of the people that came for this free fried chicken dinner were obese, some very much so. They often went through the line 2 or 3 times.
• None of the patrons was learning to cook, or to take care of anything themselves. Nobody had to do any work or contribute in any way to the dinner. It was all "sit down and be fed".
• The food was, of course, really unhealthy. And afterwards as many cookies or whatever sweet dessert they offered.

Almsgiving is Mammon’s perversion of giving. It affirms the superiority of the giver, who thus gains a point on the recipient, binds him, demands gratitude, humiliates him and reduces him to a lower state than he had before.

Charity a perversion? Toxic? That thought clung to me for weeks. Every interaction with low-income neighbors became suspect. I began studying the facial expressions of those I ushered into our church clothes closet. I noticed how seldom recipients gave me direct eye contact. I watched body language as I handed out boxes of groceries from our food pantry—head and shoulders bent slightly forward, self-effacing smiles, meek “thank-yous.” I observed, too, how quickly recipients’ response to charity devolved from gratitude to expectation to entitlement.

In moments of silent introspection, I observed my part in the anatomy of giving: I expected gratitude in exchange for my free gifts. I actually enjoyed occupying the superior position of giver (though I covered it carefully with a facade of humility). I noted a hidden irritation at those who voiced their annoyance when free food stocks ran low. I grew weary of filtering through half-truths and manipulative ploys as I sought to equitably dispense resources. This thorough look at the anatomy of my charity eventually exposed an unhealthy culture of dependency.

With the research intensity of a Louis Pasteur searching for a causal relationship between germs and disease, I examined broader aspects of charity under the microscope of my new awareness. I discovered that the toxins deforming relationships were not confined to our organization or the neighborhood I served. Everywhere I looked, I observed the same patterns, from overseas church mission trips to the inner-city service projects of campus organizations. Wherever there was sustained one-way giving, unwholesome dynamics and pathologies festered under the cover of kindheartedness.

Since that 1981 Christmas Eve, it has baffled me that in a global communication era no watchdog organization warns of the dangers of charity, especially given the growth and popularity of this industry. Now, everyone is getting in on the charity train, from rock groups to youth groups, from TV celebrities to elementary-school children, from Fortune 500 corporations to campus fraternities. And across the board the benevolence business is almost entirely unexamined.

Doing for rather than doing with those in need is the norm. Add to it the combination of patronizing pity and unintended superiority, and charity becomes toxic.