My neighbourhood barber shop closed down, so I had my haircut at a new place yesterday.

It was a great move. I felt incredibly pampered. My hairstylist, Hasan (yes I got his name) was gentle, yet forceful. His movements were slow, sharp, deliberate, as if he were doing ikebana or sado instead of snipping my disheveled hair into shape. I felt like he was performing a ritual. The way he unhurriedly blew away the hair at my feet with a hairdyer, the way he solemnly brought my spectacles on the wooden tray, the way he cut my hair to shave 10 years off my age. Everything was precise and calculated. Tipping isn’t a norm here, but I was so impressed with his exemplary service that I gave him a tip.

Today, my son’s fever still didn’t subside, so instead of the general practitioner, I took him to visit the paediatrician. I quite like my family doctor, but honestly, there is a reason why people pay top dollar to get consulted by a paediatrician. She was insightful and reassuring, suggesting a possible reason for his illness, sharing with me that she has seen many similar cases recently, and laying out the next course of action. I left her, feeling that my concerns were allayed. I also bought a new bottle of cough syrup under her recommendation because the syrup that the GP had issued made my boy drowsy.

Rendered impressed by these two individuals, I began to wonder what my students and colleagues thought of me. Would they think of me as a persuasive professional? Do I get a stellar rating like this: ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬜️? Or am I dispensable, just a non-descript passerby who happens to teach English?

I think I’m reasonably competent (yes humility is actually not one of my strengths), but I would hesitate to call myself a professional because I haven’t mastered my craft deeply enough to bring about high impact yet.

I explain things well, but what I lack is the ability to help my students “lock in” various concepts. I could pass the buck to them and brush their lack of mastery aside, saying that they were not paying 💯 attention in the first place. Which is true but also feels like a cop-out. Perhaps I haven’t strategised enough about how to make the best use of their working memory within 30 or 60 minutes.

In fact, I recently learnt that Finland gives students 15 mins of break time for every 45 mins of instruction. Apparently, they take brain breaks very seriously. Brain breaks is something I have yet to incorporate into my teaching, so that’s a definite area of improvement for me.

I guess I will rate myself as such: ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️❓❓❓

How about you? Would you consider yourself a pro in your field? Is this question of expertise something you worry about in the first place?