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I’m teaching in a specialised school currently. Since my son will be enrolled into a primary school in 2026, I applied for a job at the Ministry of Education so that I could send him to school in the future. School in Singapore starts at an unearthly hour of half past seven!
I informed my principal of my upcoming interview this morning. Subsequently in the afternoon, she called me into her office to offer me feedback. So, she finds that I interject and nod my head a little too much during conversations. That’s why she’s concerned that I might come across as being impatient, as if I already knew everything and couldn’t wait for the other person to finish. She even said all this in Cantonese, which must be her mother tongue, because the words sounded like it came from her heart.
She gave me this feedback at the start of our chat, so I was inwardly reeling a bit and tried my best to be motionless haha. Then, in the middle of our chat, she paused while talking and mentioned how I might be misconstrued as paying lip service. My behaviour must have bothered/bewildered her quite a bit!
At this juncture, I opened up and told her about aizuchi in Japanese. In Japanese, people are expected to use fillers and body language to show the other party that they are paying attention. So, what I thought was a show of politeness turned out to be interpreted as a sign of impatience by my principal! Ironic to the max.
I knew my principal meant well. She didn’t have to go out of her way to be candid with me, but she took time out of her schedule to deliver her truth. I need to digest this feedback though and think about how I might need to adapt my mannerisms in the future.
What an interesting culture contrast.
I often subconsciously nod when I understand a point a speaker is trying to make.
In grad school, one of my friends from India told me that she likes having me in the audience for her presentations, because no one else gives any body language feedback. My nodding relieved some anxiety that her points weren't getting across.
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Indian body language is another ball game. They shake their heads a lot to mean yes 🤣
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