All of the numbers used in this hypothetical analysis are pointless. The unemployment rate is a flawed statistic omitting those "not looking for a job" and real estate is in a worse bubble than it was in the lead-up to the 2008 financial crisis. The talking heads all said that things were fine then as well, and we all know how that turned out.

You can also be sure that in the event that "five large hedge funds implode, and the banks stand to lose $70-85 Billion", the government will be more than willing to provide them bailout money.