7

And so, one summer day, a solitary Vacationer wandered into the Penists’ camp. He stood unsteadily and squinted at the guards and prisoners around him all of whom were badly startled when they realized that the Vacationer was not one of them. The Vacationer only glared furiously at them, and showed signs of becoming increasingly agitated. He was clearly inebriated.

The Penists began to whisper among themselves, but finally the Vacationer spoke.

‘Like, what the hell, bro? Don’t you teep? Come on! I mean you’re using like real fucking words!’

Recovering from their surprise at being startled on what they believed was a desert island, the guards quickly became amused by the Vacationers’ drunken state. The nearby prisoners took their lead from the guards and soon there was a crowd surrounding the Vacationer, trying to discover where he came from and how he got drunk. Franklin arrived and attempted to get some coherent information from the Vacationer.

The man addressed Franklin, ‘It’s about time someone built something on this side of the island. You guys putting in a pool or a hot tub or anything?’

Franklin informed the Vacationer that he was trespassing on federal property and that he should leave immediately.

‘Hey man,’ said the Vacationer. ‘Whatever works for you. I’ll tell you what. You know what we’re going to do? I’m going to tell you what we’re going to do. We’re going to throw you fuckers a welcome party! We’re going to do that. But first, I need to pee.’

The Vacationer took down his pants and proceeded to empty his bladder, and, indeed he would have urinated directly on Franklin, had the warden not jumped to the side. There was a great uproar among the Penists, many of whom found the event very humorous. Franklin ordered the crowd dispersed, and somehow, the drunken man vanished back into the forest in the hubbub. The entire event became a great joke among the Penists, and it is said that Franklin even chuckled about it. But some people took it very seriously, indeed.