I agree with almost all of what you say here and I hope I also live up to my duty (as I perceive it) of calling out the error of treating federated solutions as decentralized

I do, however, think "not having a website" makes a big functional difference. If people pick escrows through an informal mechanism (e.g. "well we both know Bob, Bob is awesome. He wouldn't cheat either of us. In fact, let's just ask him if he'll do this for us") then no one except the interested parties ever has to know Bob did anything.