Huzzah, my dear friends. The time is high. Now begins the ascendance of my beloved Carolina Panthers.
They're absolute dead last in the preseason #NFL rankings. As they rightfully should be. I've kept up with this team since I was a kid, which is a nice way of saying I volunteered as tribute.
I was there when they choked before the almighty Tom Brady, the infamous Von Miller strip-sack, and the latest attempt to rebuild a roster like the woefully indebted economy of Japan. It's been must-watch TV for fans and therapists alike!
I'm proud to say they've finally hit rock bottom. They might even stay there, who knows? What is dead will never die. Bears get fucked.