There is no real delete on the internet, but there are ways to do best-effort delete attempts which we're considering.
The protocol doesn't have much baked in it, but most things can be done as extensions, which are always going to be optional and opt-in by clients and relays. Deleting is one of those.
This project is cool. You've obviously thought way harder about this problem/solution space than I, but something to consider if you haven't already...
Could the hosting cost be dramatically reduced if everything was deleted by default after some per-post-configurable amount of time?
Keeping data would become a reason to build an extension. Rather than the other way around. Relays would have retention policies. Users would have re-broadcast/archive policies. Those could be co-operative or redundant, depending on their respective choices and indexing extensions installed. The rogue relays would be the ones intentionally keeping data longer than they are supposed to, which would be kindof a service in and of itself.
...anyway, just $0.02 for you to noodle on. Keep up the cool work!
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Relays can choose their deletion police or limit who can publish to them in any way they want, even charge for publications.
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if i own my data, i should be able to tombstone it. and clients should respect that by default.
if a pervert wants to read the underlying json to find what i deleted, so be it lol.
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