This is pitiful. None of those are unique properties. These are not fundamental, technical properties of bitcoin. None of these features make bitcoin more useful to martians than a new cryptocurrency which is forked from genesis.

It is trivial to create a cryptocurrency that has all of those properties by simply starting a new genesis block with an old timestamp and spending a ton of PoW to stack blocks with old timestamps on it. Boom, you have something that is indistinguishable from "old" cryptocurrency like bitcoin.

Secondly, bitcoin's market cap is not some feature of bitcoin, it is merely dependent on the price that people trade bitcoin. You have come full circle in explaining why bitcoin is valuable: "it is valuable because it is valuable".