I wrote a post with the word fuck in the title and my god people seemed to enjoy it:

Fuck your ‘Tips and Tricks’ You know what fuck your content too

I thought, why not teach people how to swear correctly, and brighten up everyone’s shitty days.

Writing is about brevity, though.

It’s about fucking courage.

An algorithm isn’t turned on by your courage, but people are, so you need to ask yourself, who am I writing for, a website’s codebase that doesn’t give a shit about me, or my small but dedicated follower-base who do nice things like buy books and leave responses.

I’ve written about 100 posts now, and 3 of them were curated. I really couldn’t give a shit, because apart from my one curation in Fiction (The Men In The Snow — thanks for asking) my other posts perform miles better, because humans like them.

I fully recommend you embrace rule-breaking, by knowing what the rules are. Swearing and using the wrong tags won’t get you into Better Marketing, but their enormous subscriber-base is so unengaged you won’t get many views anyway, so join smaller more badass publications like The Bad Influence, swear as much as you fucking want, and enjoy these benefits:

Write exactly what you want Feel, appear, and actually be more genuine and authentic Connect with the audience you deserve and earn, not the one marketers built that you’re trying to leverage Have way more fun writing without limits Help people realise process is there for you until it isn’t Ok, here’s how to swear.

Emphasis is key

Source: The Fucking Dictionary I see a bunch of people swearing wrong because they think it’s cool to swear.

If you do it wrong, you’ll detract from your own emphasis.

If, however, you get it right: fuckin’ A.

I’m tempted to start a publication to celebrate swearing, grow it so large I get auto-curation rights, and never use them, just to shit on the Writing Cooperative who have had the audacity to reject me a million times because I don’t write to their imaginary rules.

I was trying to help other writers, guys, sorry I didn’t kiss your ass enough.

Now, when you deploy your swearwords to devastating effect, check that:

Your “wank” or “bastard” is thoughtful, meaningful, and genuinely adds emphasis Your “shitarse” or “wankdolphin” will actually give someone that isn’t you a bit of a chuckle Your calculated risk in swearing in the first place will be worth it. If you’re for sure going to get published by some crapshoot if you don’t swear, weigh up your options. You’re fucking welcome.

Go swear with emphasis.