What would you ask your dad/mum before they pass away? \ stacker news ~AskSN

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What would you ask your dad/mum before they pass away?

2038 sats \ 15 comments \ @south_korea_ln 24 Oct AskSN

Triggered by a commercial a while ago from a company that sells little books that one can gift to their parents, titled dad/mum, I want to hear your story, but that I haven't bought yet, I realized there are several things I have never asked my parents.

With my dad, I never talk much about emotions. With my mother, as a guy, I never really feel like talking about those things in person. Yet, I think it would be nice to ask them some of these things. I deeply respect them, and because they share several of my core values, as they are the ones who raised me, I'm sure I could still learn a lot from them and their life experience. Not just emotions, also about choices they've had to make in life and how they look back on those choices. Also, it would make for a nice memory once they are not there anymore. Which can happen sooner than one thinks.

So here I am asking you, SN, what are the things you would like to ask your parents, but never did? Or if they already passed away, what would have been the things you would have liked to ask them?

A few ideas from my own side:

How did you know mum was the right person for you?
How did you chose your career path, would you have chosen the same path in current day and age?
What financial advice would you give me? Do you think your approach to saving still works today?
...

Not sure they would feel comfortable answering all questions, but come to think of it, I think they would appreciate this gift. It could also be something I ask them to fill in and only pass it on to me and my siblings after they pass away.

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231 sats \ 2 replies \ @LowK3y19 24 Oct

I would ask them why they did me so dirty?

0 sats \ 1 reply \ @south_korea_ln OP 24 Oct

Valid question. Would they answer? Would they understand where you're coming from?

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @LowK3y19 24 Oct

Ya they would probably be in denial and think they treated great my whole life

212 sats \ 6 replies \ @nym 24 Oct

I would have told them how proud I was of how they raised me and all the opportunities they gave me. I didn't realize I was their world until I was too old.

42 sats \ 5 replies \ @south_korea_ln OP 24 Oct

Thanks for saying that. Maybe it's the beer I had, but this hits home. I have to tell them that before it's too late. Both of them sacrificed everything for their kids.

200 sats \ 0 replies \ @nym 24 Oct

I still think about them everyday. I didn't know I would. It's not just the beer. I teared up again just writing that.

0 sats \ 3 replies \ @Bell_curve 24 Oct

21 sats \ 1 reply \ @south_korea_ln OP 24 Oct

Yes, that's a worrying graph. Too much behind these numbers to get into right now. Maybe another day :)

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Bell_curve 24 Oct

it's similar to China which has an excess of young bachelors because of the one child policy

South Korea accomplished what China did w/o an official one child policy

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @nitter 24 Oct bot

https://xcancel.com/razibkhan/status/1848789620433019120

156 sats \ 1 reply \ @Signal312 24 Oct

I have a warning to everyone that thinks they can wait till just before mom or dad or older relatives pass away, to talk to them.

And that's this - people usually experience significant cognitive decline, and/or lack of energy, in the decade before they die. They will likely not be able to have long discussions about family history, their background, anything like that.

I experienced this the hard way. I had an aunt that I spent a lot of time with when I was younger. She had wonderful stories to tell, and was eager to tell them.

I had always thought I would spend some extended time with her at some point in the future, getting her to talk about her past, jotting down notes, maybe even helping her write up up a very basic memoir.

And I actually tried doing that, but it was just a couple years before she died. And she just wasn't capable of putting any energy into it, even with my help. Also her memory wasn't the best anymore.

So - have these talks early!

102 sats \ 0 replies \ @cryotosensei 24 Oct

This is a Signal response. Thanks for sharing n I hope it didn’t trigger too many painful memories

95 sats \ 0 replies \ @cryotosensei 24 Oct

Great question. As luck would have it, I’m meeting my dad tomorrow. I think I will keep it simple.

“How old were you when you picked up calligraphy?”

Yes, he wrote this

86 sats \ 0 replies \ @denlillaapan 24 Oct

"What financial advice would you give me? Do you think your approach to saving still works today?" This, definitely not haha. They lived a weird world where the rule was "max credit, acquire assets, don't miss payments."

Ours is a liiiittle bit different, alright

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @thecommoner 24 Oct

There is nothing I would ask my parents - they long ago showed me that they are only living their lives for one purpose (their own self fulfillment) and as such any information they attempt to pass along to me is categorically worthless.

Its kind of like they are corrupt portion of my hard drive that has been and is still being overwritten.

The questions I would ask their databases have been asked and answered by new more dependable systems.