A Perfectly Captured Scene of Modern Relationship Problems \ stacker news ~culture

A great comment describes this as a communication backlog:

This is called a communication backlog.

"I feel uncomfortable when our home is dirty, for example when we let the dishes rot in the sink for hours."

"Sometimes when I'm stressed out, I just need to sit down and play videogames for half am hour."

"You propably just don't know how to express it, but sometimes it seems like you don't notice the efforts I out into this relationship. It would make me feel very appreciated if you took initiative to help me now and then."

"I got your grocery list. Is there anything on it that's critical, in case I run short on something?"

"I need twelve lemons. Exactly twelve lemons. These are the reasons I need them for. I'm aware that not even the army does issue out orders without making sure their soldiers understand the greater context of the mission, so this is the reason why we'd need exactly twelve lemons."

"You said on our very first date that you don't like flowers. I want to show you my appreciation, but I struggle to come up with ways to do this. What's something you'd be very happy if I got them for you?"

"Honestly I don't care about flowers one way or the other. It's the gesture that makes me happy. If you like gifting me flowers, that's still making me happy."

"Honey, could we please do anything else but the ballet? Like, you don't want to go with me to Ann Arbor either. Maybe you go watch the ballet with your girlfriends, I go to Ann Arbor with my buddies, and we try to find something else we'd both enjoy doing on a date together?"

"Honey, I'm working really hard all day to make money for us. It doesn't seem like you appreciate me doing this. Are you unhappy with how we have structured our relationship? Would you want us to do things differently?"

"Can we sit down and have a conversation please? You've talked to me about the mess in the bath, about how my wardrobe doesn't match, about how I'm not working out - it seems we've got a mismatch in our priorities. Can we please try to sort this out so that we're able to get on the same page regarding what matters to us?"

These are all things that should have said well before this fight. Probably weeks, months or years before it.

If you don't do it, then scenes like this happen.

Never stop communicating. It can get really ugly when minor issues aren't mentioned until you fight about something else and then both blow up.

43 sats \ 0 replies \ @zapsammy 2 Dec

dishwashers have no place in a family that does not have like 5+ people and frequent guests for dinners. it's a waste of energy and water, and uses toxic chemicals under heat & pressure.

dishwashers have better use as water-proof storage in flood zones.

communication backlog is a great term. i will monitor more carefully for sign of it in my own and others' relationships. if there is time for a Netflix movie, there is time for a walk - most of my serious talks happen on long walks.

the me-me-mentality is also prevalent and has to be pointed out. in order to produce win-win results, a meeting of the minds with equal or close-to-equal consideration has to take place. everything is a trust and a contract.

21 sats \ 0 replies \ @cryotosensei 2 Dec

I can sure relate to the husband in the video. Why can’t we do those bloody dishes the next morning? Why must certain chores be done in the here and now? Why can’t you just reeeeelllllax?

But I’m not the confrontational type, so I just keep these misgivings to myself haha. I remind myself that she is pulling more than her fair share of work for my family and suck my pride in.

And thankfully, we have a dishwasher

21 sats \ 0 replies \ @Imyourfed 2 Dec

The video is really great and in most sense it's very true.

I think communication and understanding are the biggest keys to saving a relationship. My friends who are married sometimes come to the office really sad and frustrated. The reason? Fights with their partners over silly things. Also, I wonder now who's going to wash the dishes?

10 sats \ 0 replies \ @Satosora 2 Dec

The problem with relationships now days is that people dont actually give it their all. They dont care enough to invest 100% into the relationship because they know they can just go out and get another bf or gf. Gets a bit more difficult once you are married. Stakes are a bit higher.

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @LowK3y19 2 Dec

Divorce seems to fix the problem lol

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Solomonsatoshi 2 Dec

Feminism is toxic.